IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The chart below shows the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010. (pounds sterling)

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The bar chart illustrates expenditure in France and the United Kingdom on consuming goods in 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the graph that the trading of cars had the highest cost.
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 perfume had the smallest funds on the total consumption in the UK in 2010. In France, computers and car commodities were spent around 400,000
pounds
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
, French people consume exactly 300 thousand
pounds
Use synonyms
 in
books
Add an article
the books
show examples
 category.
However
Linking Words
, there was a slight decrease in the consumption of cameras. It reached to only 150,000
pounds
Use synonyms
 in 2010. In the United Kingdom, cars and books represented a significant increase in the average
expanded
Replace the word
expansion
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, there was a tiny increase in
books
Change the noun form
book
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 consumption. 400,000
pounds
Use synonyms
 that the people in the UK allocated.
In contrast
Linking Words
, French
national
Fix the agreement mistake
nationals
show examples
consumed 30,000
pounds
Use synonyms
 only.
In addition
Linking Words
, perfume and camera items were used by 150 to 200 thousand in 2010.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words pounds with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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