Art is considered an essential part of all cultures throughout the world. however, these days fewer and fewer people apptreciate art and turn their focus to science , technology and business. why do you think that is? what could be done to encourage more people to take intrest in the arts?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Although
Linking Words
art
Use synonyms
is an integral part of traditional cultures all over the world, more and more people are getting
commited
Correct your spelling
committed
commitment
towards
science
Use synonyms
,
technology
Use synonyms
and business,
few
Correct word choice
but few
show examples
people appreciate
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
artwork.In my
opinon
Correct your spelling
opinion
Change preposition
apply
show examples
due to
Linking Words
the advancement of
technology
Use synonyms
and
job
Use synonyms
security are
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
main reasons behind
this
Linking Words
phenomina
Correct your spelling
phenomena
phenomenon
.The governments should take steps or implement policies to ensure secure
job
Use synonyms
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
show examples
in
artwork
Add an article
the artwork
show examples
. Without a doubt , the prevalence of
science
Use synonyms
and
technology
Use synonyms
in today's society has overshadowed the importance of
art
Use synonyms
, leading to a decline in appreciation.
Primary
Correct article usage
The primary
show examples
reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
show examples
for
this
Linking Words
is
Correct article usage
the enconomic
show examples
enconomic
Correct your spelling
economic
prosperity of
indivudal
Correct your spelling
individual
individuals
and society.
In other words
Linking Words
Add a comma
,
show examples
as
world
Add an article
the world
show examples
is
turing
Correct your spelling
turning
towards
science
Use synonyms
and
technology
Use synonyms
thereby
job
Use synonyms
opportunities
increased
Wrong verb form
increase
show examples
in these sectors ,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
cause low demand
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
art
Use synonyms
workers.
For instance
Linking Words
,people used to study making designs but unfortunately
due to
Linking Words
the development of Artifical
Intellengence
Correct your spelling
intelligence
design
Fix the agreement mistake
designs
show examples
are being made with robotics assistance which eventually decreased
demand
Correct article usage
the demand
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
designers, thereby leading
Fix the infinitive
to
show examples
interest in tech sectors . Undoubtedly, modernization is inevitable , it should not come at the
expenses
Fix the agreement mistake
expense
show examples
of a nation's heritage, as historical
art
Use synonyms
and
artisitic
Correct your spelling
artistic
skills are invaluable
assests
Correct your spelling
assets
.The preservation of
art
Use synonyms
is only possible if the government takes some
neccessory
Correct your spelling
necessary
steps towards it
such
Linking Words
as
appriciation
Correct your spelling
appreciation
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
artwork ,
installation
Replace the word
installing
show examples
of
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
show examples
art
Use synonyms
framework and providing free
art
Use synonyms
education .
This
Linking Words
lead
Change the verb form
leads
show examples
the young generation
get
Fix the infinitive
to get
show examples
motivate
Change the verb form
motivated
show examples
to study
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
art
Use synonyms
and choose
career
Correct article usage
a career
show examples
being
Change preposition
as being
show examples
artist.
For example
Linking Words
, in India in order to preserve
art
Use synonyms
,recently
lauched
Correct your spelling
launched
program
Correct article usage
a program
show examples
which encourages
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
younsters
Correct your spelling
youngsters
to study more about
art
Use synonyms
which
lead
Wrong verb form
led
show examples
more
Change preposition
to more
show examples
job
Use synonyms
opportunities in
Use synonyms
art
Correct article usage
the art
show examples
sector as it was
subsidiesed
Correct your spelling
subsidised
subsidized
by the government. In
conculsion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
,the Aesthetic appeal of classical
art
Use synonyms
is
getting fade
Wrong verb form
fading
show examples
because of economic prosperity in
Use synonyms
technology
Correct article usage
the technology
show examples
,
science
Use synonyms
and
busineses
Correct your spelling
business
sectors , the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
should implement
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
polcies
Correct your spelling
policies
to
protects
Wrong verb form
protect
show examples
indigenous
art
Use synonyms
and artistic skills.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Improve the clarity of ideas by clearly linking them to the thesis statement in the introduction. Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea that supports the thesis.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to illustrate your points more effectively. This can enhance the relevance and impact of your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Check for grammatical errors and typos to improve the overall presentation of your essay. For instance, 'appreciate,' 'AI,' and 'appreciation.'
task achievement
The essay addresses the task and provides an opinion on the decline of interest in art.
task achievement
There are some valid points made regarding the impact of technology and government intervention.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • appreciate
  • cultural significance
  • aesthetic value
  • traditional art forms
  • digital media
  • commercialized expression
  • arts education
  • creativity
  • public art installations
  • accessibility
  • community engagement
  • STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Mathematics)
  • STEAM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Arts, Mathematics)
  • practicality
  • economic growth
  • cultural shifts
  • generational leap
  • hands-on experience
  • innovation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: