In some societies, sports and entertainment figures are more valued than professionals such as doctors and teachers. Why is this the case, and do you consider it a positive or negative trend?

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It is true in the present era that some occupations in the leisure field are more appreciated than health and Education majors for some reasons.Why does

this

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issue happen and what is it considered to be a positive or negative one?

This

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essay will delve into the causes of

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phenomenon and the opinions by supporting related examples and insights. On the one hand, The significant reason behind

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issue is sportsmen and singers are interested people. To clarify,players and musicians are popular among the youngest and they tend to imitate them in their lifestyle and personalities. A study from UNESCO declared that 90%of young people like Cristiano,a famous football player . Another reason is that entertainment is worth less effort than technical areas like teaching and health. To illustrate more, jobs in schools and medical centres should be valued,

due to

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it demands more patience and wise.Research published recently from SU stated that 80% of students involved in sports and music qualifications.

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this

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tendency from my perspective has a negative side.

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, professionals

for example

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tutors and nurses may lose their respect among the public.

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, It is our duty as residents to encourage youth to take part in these areas. In conclusion,

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Jobs like musicians and sportsmen are more valuable than scientific ones in some nations, It is the responsibility of both families and the community to be aware of individuals for their advantages. I totally agree that the outcomes of

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issue are not specific to persons but expand to reach the community and government.

lailakhalil3Sun Feb 16 2025

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task achievement

Make sure to provide a clearer outline of your main points in the introduction. This will help set the stage for your argument more effectively.

coherence and cohesion

Use transition words to enhance the flow between paragraphs and sentences. This will improve the overall coherence of your essay.

task achievement

Expand on your examples and insights. Instead of just citing a statistic, explain how it relates to your argument.

task achievement

You present a relevant topic and address it from both sides, which adds depth to your essay.

coherence and cohesion

Your conclusion effectively summarizes your viewpoints and emphasizes the importance of community and family roles in valuing professions.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

260 words

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In some societies, sports and entertainment figures are more valued than professionals such as doctors and teachers. Why is this the case, and do you consider it a positive or negative trend?

Fully explain your ideas

Many people still believe that riding a bicycle is the best way to get to places. What are the advantage and disadvantage of using a bicycle these days?

In some countries, a high proportion of criminal acts are committed by teenagers. What is the cause?What can be done to deal with this.

It is more important for a building to serve a purpose than to look beautiful. Architects shouldn’t worry about producing building as a work of art. Do you agree or disagree?