IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Schools should teach children good behaviour and introduce ideas of "right" and "wrong". It should not only be left to parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Good behaviours and the
judement
Correct your spelling
judgement
judgment
 of right and wrong aspects should be taught in
schools
Use synonyms
 and parents are not the only responsible persons to introduce these to their
children
Use synonyms
. I totally agree with
this
Linking Words
agrument
Correct your spelling
argument
 because
children
Use synonyms
 spend most of their time in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
schools
Use synonyms
 and learning from a certified teacher will be better. As it is said that
schools
Use synonyms
 are the second home,
children
Use synonyms
 normally spend more than half
day
Correct article usage
a day
show examples
 at
Use synonyms
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
show examples
 during weekdays.
Schools
Use synonyms
 are the places
that
Correct word choice
where
show examples
 students have unlimited opportunities to learn both academic skills and life skills. If
children
Use synonyms
 use their time to learn good behaviour and classify right and wrong things, they will know how they should behave. They,
moreover
Linking Words
, learn from their friends so that
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 good environment will
effect
Verb problem
apply
show examples
directly to their behaviours. Teachers should teach not only academic sides but
also
Linking Words
 social manners which is a crucial part of
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
life as well. Because not all
children
Use synonyms
 believe and respect in their fathers or mothers,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
schools
Use synonyms
 will be an option for them. As parents can be improper in many situations,
such
Linking Words
 as treating their
children
Use synonyms
 as much as they can or they might be afraid of not getting love from their
children
Use synonyms
, they can do whatever to
surve
Correct your spelling
serve
ans
Correct your spelling
and
 satisfy their kids. Learning from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
formal and experienced teachers can remove
this
Linking Words
 bias and introduce ideas of "right" and "wrong" to
children
Use synonyms
 more effectively. In conclusion,
schools
Use synonyms
 are the place that
children
Use synonyms
 live in almost all weekdays and being taught by
a formal teachers
Correct the article-noun agreement
formal teachers
a formal teacher
show examples
 will be more effective,
schools
Use synonyms
 should account for teaching good behaviour and introducing good and bad things to
children
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Expand on your main points with more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. For instance, you might provide a specific scenario or anecdote about how a school initiative helped improve students' behavior.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your ideas flow logically from one to the next. Consider using transitional phrases to help guide the reader through your argument more clearly, which will enhance the overall coherence of your essay.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear stance in agreement with the statement, which is commendable. This clarity of opinion is important in task achievement.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction sets the context well and outlines your main argument effectively, which positively impacts coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • morality
  • ethics
  • behavioral norms
  • social values
  • reinforce
  • collaborative activities
  • diverse environment
  • intervene
  • developmental stages
  • familial teachings
What to do next:
Look at other essays: