IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The pie chart shows the percentage of women in poverty and the bar chart shows poverty rates by sex and age. They are from the United States in 2008.

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The pie chart illustrates the rates of
poverty
Use synonyms
 for
women
Use synonyms
 who were responsible for family expenditure and the bar chart compares the percentages of
poverty
Use synonyms
 between both genders in diverse
age
Use synonyms
 groups in the United States in the year 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
,
women
Use synonyms
 of all ages were poorer than men, particularly, exacerbated for single females With regard to family composition of households, more than half of the single
women
Use synonyms
 with no dependent
children
Use synonyms
 were poor at 54%,
while
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 rate was 26% for
such
Linking Words
 mothers with dependent
children
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, married
women
Use synonyms
 with no dependent
children
Use synonyms
 had the best situation financially and just 8% were in
poverty
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 rate was slightly higher for married
women
Use synonyms
 with dependent
children
Use synonyms
 at 12%. In terms of various
age
Use synonyms
 groups, the severity of
poverty
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 among both genders under the
age
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 of 5 was higher than
other
Change preposition
at other
show examples
 ages which was more than 20%. Noticeably, after the
age
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 of 18, poor females bay far outraced poor men.
For instance
Linking Words
, about 20% of
women
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 between the ages of 18 and 24 were in
poverty
Use synonyms
, meanwhile it was less than 15% among males of the same
age
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words poverty, women, age, children with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • demographic
  • financial hardship
  • proportion
  • poverty line
  • socio-economic factors
  • employment opportunities
  • wage disparities
  • age groups
  • intersect
  • social policies
  • targeted interventions
  • disproportionately affected
  • comparative analysis
  • statistical representation
  • data visualization
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