It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many people hold the view that in
the
Change the word
their
show examples
professional lives and personal lives , citizens
take
Wrong verb form
taking
show examples
risks
Use synonyms
in their
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
is necessary . In my opinion ,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
will lean
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
the benefits of taking
risks
Use synonyms
outweight
Correct your spelling
outweigh
than the drawbacks.
One
Correct your spelling
On
show examples
the one hand , it is true that taking
risks
Use synonyms
without having
perparation
Correct your spelling
preparation
carefully may have
finance
Replace the word
financial
show examples
failure . If you
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
have knowledge about how to open the something store , you may have
finance
Replace the word
financial
show examples
failure because you are not ready
for setting
Change preposition
to set
show examples
up the stores .
In addition
Linking Words
, having limited information
also
Linking Words
can make someone is easy to deviate from your plan .
For instance
Linking Words
,
bussinessmen
Correct your spelling
businessmen
have a plan
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
job
Use synonyms
in the future . But for some
reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
show examples
,
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
decide to take
risks
Use synonyms
to have
Correct article usage
the successfully
show examples
successfully
Change the word
successful
show examples
result that they want . But to swap it , they must
rejected
Change the verb form
reject
be rejected
show examples
or
ending
Wrong verb form
end
show examples
with
relationship
Add an article
a relationship
the relationship
show examples
that
werent
Correct your spelling
weren't
happy .
Althought
Correct your spelling
Although
taking
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
show examples
also
Linking Words
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
disadvantages , people who take
risks
Use synonyms
in their
job
Use synonyms
can open
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
show examples
for
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
. When the citizens take
risks
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
any
situations
Fix the agreement mistake
situation
show examples
, but if lucky they earn a lot of money , opening a lot of stores or restaurants that they want .
Aditionally
Correct your spelling
Additionally
, they can have highly valuable
experiment
Fix the agreement mistake
experiments
show examples
in their
job
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, if you are successful
to open
Change preposition
in opening
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
stores or restaurants , not only
you
Add a missing verb
do you
show examples
have stable
finance
Fix the agreement mistake
finances
show examples
, but
also
Linking Words
you can learn some unique
experiment
Fix the agreement mistake
experiments
show examples
from customers and
bussinessmen
Correct your spelling
businessmen
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
is very helpful for your careee . In conclusion , taking
risks
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
have
Verb problem
causes
show examples
problems for people who just starting
the
Change the word
their
show examples
jobs . But if you have knowledge and experiment in the
job
Use synonyms
, you can take
risks
Use synonyms
very common to enhance yourself and your opportunity . In my view ,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
believe the benefits of taking
risks
Use synonyms
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
outweight
Correct your spelling
outweighed
outweigh
than the
negative
Fix the agreement mistake
negatives
show examples
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure clarity in your thesis statement. It should clearly express your opinion and outline the main points you will discuss.
task achievement
Provide more specific details and examples to support your points more effectively, particularly regarding the opportunities created by taking risks.
coherence and cohesion
Improve grammatical accuracy and usage, particularly in your spelling and sentence structures to strengthen overall clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Organize your ideas logically, ensuring that each paragraph focuses on one clear main point related to your argument.
task achievement
You effectively state your opinion on the topic and give examples related to taking risks in career and business.
task achievement
You attempt to provide both sides of the argument, showing a balanced perspective on the topic.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
What to do next:
Look at other essays: