It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?
Many people hold the view that in
the
professional lives and personal lives , citizens Change the word
their
take
Wrong verb form
taking
risks
in their Use synonyms
career
is necessary . In my opinion , Fix the agreement mistake
careers
i
will lean Change the capitalization
I
to
the benefits of taking Change preposition
on
risks
Use synonyms
outweight
than the drawbacks.
Correct your spelling
outweigh
One
the one hand , it is true that taking Correct your spelling
On
risks
without having Use synonyms
perparation
carefully may have Correct your spelling
preparation
finance
failure . If you Replace the word
financial
dont
have knowledge about how to open the something store , you may have Correct your spelling
don't
finance
failure because you are not ready Replace the word
financial
for setting
up the stores . Change preposition
to set
In addition
, having limited information Linking Words
also
can make someone is easy to deviate from your plan . Linking Words
For instance
, Linking Words
bussinessmen
have a plan Correct your spelling
businessmen
of
the Change preposition
for
job
in the future . But for some Use synonyms
reasons
, Fix the agreement mistake
reason
the
decide to take Correct your spelling
they
risks
to have Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the successfully
successfully
result that they want . But to swap it , they must Change the word
successful
rejected
or Change the verb form
reject
be rejected
ending
with Wrong verb form
end
relationship
that Add an article
a relationship
the relationship
werent
happy .
Correct your spelling
weren't
Althought
taking Correct your spelling
Although
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
also
Linking Words
have
disadvantages , people who take Correct subject-verb agreement
has
risks
in their Use synonyms
job
can open Use synonyms
opportunity
for Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
career
. When the citizens take Fix the agreement mistake
careers
risks
Use synonyms
for
any Change preposition
in
situations
, but if lucky they earn a lot of money , opening a lot of stores or restaurants that they want . Fix the agreement mistake
situation
Aditionally
, they can have highly valuable Correct your spelling
Additionally
experiment
in their Fix the agreement mistake
experiments
job
. Use synonyms
For example
, if you are successful Linking Words
to open
Change preposition
in opening
the
stores or restaurants , not only Correct article usage
apply
you
have stable Add a missing verb
do you
finance
, but Fix the agreement mistake
finances
also
you can learn some unique Linking Words
experiment
from customers and Fix the agreement mistake
experiments
bussinessmen
, Correct your spelling
businessmen
it
is very helpful for your careee .
In conclusion , taking Correct pronoun usage
which
risks
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
have
problems for people who just starting Verb problem
causes
the
jobs . But if you have knowledge and experiment in the Change the word
their
job
, you can take Use synonyms
risks
very common to enhance yourself and your opportunity . In my view , Use synonyms
i
believe the benefits of taking Change the capitalization
I
risks
Use synonyms
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
outweight
than the Correct your spelling
outweighed
outweigh
negative
.Fix the agreement mistake
negatives
canhgio831
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task achievement
Ensure clarity in your thesis statement. It should clearly express your opinion and outline the main points you will discuss.
task achievement
Provide more specific details and examples to support your points more effectively, particularly regarding the opportunities created by taking risks.
coherence and cohesion
Improve grammatical accuracy and usage, particularly in your spelling and sentence structures to strengthen overall clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Organize your ideas logically, ensuring that each paragraph focuses on one clear main point related to your argument.
task achievement
You effectively state your opinion on the topic and give examples related to taking risks in career and business.
task achievement
You attempt to provide both sides of the argument, showing a balanced perspective on the topic.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite