IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some think they can use as much fresh water as they want, but others say governments should limit water use because it’s not endless. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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The
use
Use synonyms
 of
water
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 supply has been a hot debate for many years. Some people have no concern for the amount of natural
water
Use synonyms
 being used.
While
Linking Words
 others feel
water
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needs
Add the particle
needs to
show examples
 be
be
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
managed more sparingly through laws imposed by the government. I fully agree with the latter. On the one hand, Some people feel
water
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 is
ubundent
Correct your spelling
abundant
 and do not need to lower the usage thereof. Rain provides us with a great deal of our
water
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 supply and fills our dams and rivers.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
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 we have
resorviors
Correct your spelling
reservoirs
 to store
rain
Correct your spelling
rainwater
show examples
water
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 for periods
where
Correct word choice
when
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 rainfall drops. Most cities have plants to recycle our used
water
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 for
further
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 usage. Consumers pay for
water
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 and
use
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 it profusely through watering their gardens or washing their motorcars.
However
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, we should still consider using
water
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 sparingly in the future even though it is bought.
On the other hand
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,
Water
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 has become scarce in many places and
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
 to be used more wisely.
Water
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 is not endless and many places experience severe droughts that
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
 the
water
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 supply
conciderably
Correct your spelling
considerably
. Many African countries have no rain for months at a time
where
Correct word choice
and
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 they need outside assistance to provide them with fresh drinking
water
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. Animals die from waterholes drying up.
Thus
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, it is
crutial
Correct your spelling
crucial
critical
 for a society to be
inlightend
Correct your spelling
enlightened
 on the
use
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 of
water
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 consumption. In conclusion, many people feel
water
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 is a basic human right and if they pay for it they can
be
Change the verb form
use
show examples
use
Use synonyms
 it
however
Linking Words
 they prefer.
While
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this
Linking Words
 is not the case,
water
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 is not endless and
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
 to educate individuals on the
use
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 of
water
Use synonyms
.

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language
Make sure to check for spelling and grammatical errors, such as miswritten words like 'ubundant' (abundant), 'crutial' (crucial), and 'inlightend' (enlightened).
content
Try to present a more balanced view in the discussion by providing a few more arguments for each side to enhance depth.
coherence
Consider adding transitional phrases to enhance the flow between ideas, especially when moving from one point to another.
task accomplishment
The essay presents a clear position that aligns with your opinion, which is commendable.
coherence
The introductory paragraph outlines the main issue clearly, setting a good context for the discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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