IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some say that it would be better if the majority of employees worked from home instead of travelling to a workplace every day. Do you think the advantages of working from home outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Introduction
Some people say working at
home
Use synonyms
 is better than in the
workplace
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 but
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 don'
t
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 think so. As we
work
Use synonyms
 at
home
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 we will easy to go to
other place
Change the wording
another place
other places
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
,a lady who has a cat,
while
Linking Words
 she
was
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 doing her
work
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 the cat will go to find her to play
.
Change preposition
with.
show examples
 Which one do you choose go to play with your cat or
work
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? I think you will choose the first.
Body paragraph 1
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Workplace
Add an article
The workplace
show examples
 is very important when we are working. A good
workplace
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 can make us do it quickly. In the
new
Correct your spelling
news
show examples
 which is telling
workplace
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, we can saw more than 30% people think working in
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workplace
Add an article
the workplace
show examples
 is better than at
home
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. Not only
than
Correct word choice
that
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, less than 10%
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
 think
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work
Wrong verb form
working
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 at
home
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 can make
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
 job quickly
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
finish,
than
Correct word choice
and
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 a lot of
worker
Change to a plural noun
workers
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 think
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work
Wrong verb form
working
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 in
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workplace
Add an article
the workplace
show examples
 is better than at
home
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.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
, working at
home
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don'
Correct subject-verb agreement
doesn't
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t
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 need
th
Correct your spelling
to
 pay
about
Change preposition
for
show examples
bus
Correct article usage
the bus
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 or
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
, you need to do your job more time
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
than
Correct your spelling
then
show examples
 you can'
t
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 have your
onw
Correct your spelling
own
one
 time. If you
work
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 at
home
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, you need to use
phone
Correct pronoun usage
your phone
show examples
 to
contant
Correct your spelling
contact
content
 your
lader
Correct your spelling
ladder
, maybe
cann'
Correct your spelling
can't
t
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 find them. If you
work
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 in
Use synonyms
workplace
Add an article
the workplace
a workplace
show examples
,
fond
Correct your spelling
find
show examples
 them just need to go to
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
 offer. It is more easy to find them.
Conclusion
So, working in
Use synonyms
workplace
Add an article
the workplace
show examples
 is
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
better than at
home
Use synonyms
.

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improvement
You should clearly state your position in the introduction and provide a concluding paragraph that summarizes your points.
improvement
Try to use more linking words such as 'however', 'moreover', or 'in addition' to clarify the relationships between your ideas.
improvement
Make sure to proofread for grammar and clarity, as sentences need to be more coherent and fluid for easier understanding.
strength
You provided personal examples, which can create a more engaging response.
strength
You attempted to present arguments for both sides of the issue, which shows an understanding of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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