IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The world has many towns and cities constructed in previous centures that were more suitable and livable for people in those times than ther are now. What problems will you cause? What can be done to solve these problems?

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Many towns and
cities
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 around the world were built centuries ago and designed to meet the needs of people at that time.
However
Linking Words
, as society
have
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has
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 developed, these areas have become less suitable for modern living and has led to various
chalenges
Correct your spelling
challenges
.
In
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This
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this
Linking Words
 essay will discuss problems caused
bu
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by
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 towns and
cities
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, and find
a solutions
Correct the article-noun agreement
a solution
solutions
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 to
live
Verb problem
make them
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 more livable. One of the most significant issues in historical
cities
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 is
traffic
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jam
Fix the agreement mistake
jams
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.Many of these
cities
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 were designed before the invention of cars. And streets were narrow.
As a result
Linking Words
, heavy
traffic
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 and lack of parking have become serious problems.
Linking Words
Additionally
Add a comma
Additionally,
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 old infrastructures
makes
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make
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 our daily life more difficult. Many older
cities
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 have problems affecting both business and population, like
lack
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the lack
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sewage
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of sewage
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system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
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, high-speed
internet
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 and some others. To solve
this
Linking Words
issues
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issue
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, government should invest
to
Change preposition
in
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 reconstruction. Expanding roads and improving public transport can reduce
traffic
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 jams.
In
Linking Words
addition
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addition,
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 cycle lanes
also
Linking Words
  help to solve the problem. Another important step is to
modernizing
Wrong verb form
modernise
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 infrastructures
while
Linking Words
 preserving history.Government should invest
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 modern sewage
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
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 to prevent waterlogging. To provide the population with high-speed
internet
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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should be used modern
internet
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 technologies like 5G
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internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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 or Wi-Fi. In conclusion,
while
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 historic towns and
cities
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 possess great cultural and historical value, they face significant challenges in adapting to modern demands. Issues like
traffic
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 congestion, overcrowding, and outdated infrastructure must be effectively addressed. Through infrastructure
modernization
Add a comma
modernization,
show examples
 these
cities
Use synonyms
 can be preserved

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Grammar
Ensure to proofread your text for typos and grammatical errors. For example, 'chalenges' should be 'challenges' and 'bu' should be 'by'.
Explanation
Provide more specific examples to illustrate your points, such as mentioning a particular city that faces these challenges and how they could be addressed
Structure
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and relevant supporting details to strengthen the argument.
Content
You clearly identified the problems faced by historic towns and cities, which is a good overall analysis.
Content
Your conclusion summarizes the essay well, reiterating the importance of addressing these issues.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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