IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

You learned a piece of news from your friend regarding a part-time job at a new international company near your house.

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Dear Hiring Manager, I am writing to express my interest in the part-time position at your esteemed international company, as informed by a friend. As a motivated and hardworking individual, I believe
this
Linking Words
 opportunity will allow me to gain valuable work experience
while
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 contributing to your organization. I have strong communication skills and a keen ability to adapt quickly to new environments.
Additionally
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, I am proficient in [mention relevant skills, e.g., customer service, teamwork, or technical skills], which I believe will be beneficial to your company. I am confident that my enthusiasm and dedication will make me a valuable addition to your team. I am available to work in the evenings on weekdays and full days on weekends, ensuring flexibility to meet your company’s needs. Please let me know if we can arrange a meeting to discuss my application
further
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. Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to your response. Yours truly, Shaxruza

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task achievement
Consider adding more specific examples of your skills or experiences to enhance your response and make it more personal. This will help demonstrate your suitability for the job.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your closing statement reinforces your enthusiasm for the position and invites further conversation, it can leave a stronger impression of your eagerness.
coherence and cohesion
The letter has a clear structure with a proper introduction, body, and conclusion, making it easy to follow.
task achievement
You effectively express your availability, which shows your flexibility and willingness to accommodate the company's needs.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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