IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The table below shows information about the population of New Zealand from 2011 to 2012 by age group. Summarize the formation by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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The data illustrates the number of people in New Zealand by age group in
span
Correct article usage
a span
show examples
 of one
year
Use synonyms
(2011-2012). We can see an increase in the number of people of all ages from 4.381.269 to 4.410.284 in the
Use synonyms
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 2011 to 2012. Those aged 15 and below showed a decline of 0.2% in the
year
Use synonyms
 2012 from 2011, these percentage change was
simillar
Correct your spelling
similar
 to
the
Correct determiner usage
that
show examples
those
Change preposition
of those
show examples
 aged 15-39
years
Use synonyms
. People aged 40-64 increased from 1.331.907 in the
year
Use synonyms
 2011 to 1.339.898 in the
year
Use synonyms
 2012. Those aged 65 and above had the highest increase in
Correct your spelling
percentage
precentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 change from the
year
Use synonyms
 2011 to 2012 by 4.0% Those age
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
 below 15
years
Use synonyms
 and 15-39
years
Use synonyms
 showed
downward
Correct article usage
a downward
show examples
 trajectory ,
while
Linking Words
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
those aged 40-64 and those above 65
years
Use synonyms
 showed
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
and
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
 upward trajectory with an increase of 0.6% and 4.0%
Correct your spelling
respectively
respectivey
Correct your spelling
respectively

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Add more linking words.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words year, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 4 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • population growth
  • age group
  • increase
  • decline
  • elderly population
  • aging population
  • working-age population
  • stable labor force
  • modest increase
  • significant change
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