IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many Countries want to host international sports events, while other countries think that hosting sports events has more problems than benefits. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Hosting global sports
events
Use synonyms
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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always stands out
the
Change preposition
as the
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 most controversial dilemma, since many countries are likely to host these activities,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, others find it very problematic. Both ideas have their own unique drawbacks and advantages. These
events
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 are generally used to attract
tourists
Use synonyms
 and
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 become
into
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apply
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a source of finance,
although
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tourists
Use synonyms
 are usually less aware of their waste, so they collapse the hygiene of the city. In my opinion,
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
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 of
Correct article usage
the economical
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economical
Replace the word
economic
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 impacts of the
events
Use synonyms
 significantly outweigh the natural degradation. On the one hand,
tourists
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 are careless about what they
left
Wrong verb form
leave
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 behind in most cases
,
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apply
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 because they do
traveling
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travelling
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 to relax and feel free. To be more specific about the
events
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such
Linking Words
 as the Olympics, they generally charm more than 100,000 people,
according to
Linking Words
 the statistics,
2002
Correct article usage
the 2002
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 Olympics brought more than 150,000
tourists
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 to the city. The scientists indicate that during the 2002 Olympics,
tourists
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 increased
the
Correct article usage
apply
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plastic consumption 10 times more than
its
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apply
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usual.
This
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 effect caused a dramatic detrimental issue to the infrastructure of the city,
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also
Correct word choice
and also
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 the natural environment of the town.
Besides
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 the ecological effects of international gatherings, there are
also
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 several satisfactory points as well. One of the most positive sides of these
events
Use synonyms
 is that they highly tend to revive the local economy. By the
tourists
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 flood, tonnes of foreign currency
introduces
Wrong verb form
is introduced
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 to the local traders.
Moreover
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, regional finance acquires a good amount of income. A clear example of
this
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 can be seen in Qatar, since Qatar was the home of
FIFA
Correct article usage
the FIFA
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 2020 World Cup, the country's treasury doubled when
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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compared to the previous year.
Which
Correct pronoun usage
This
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 demonstrates that these organizations strongly endorse
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society in terms of income. In conclusion, even though global organizations have devastating effects
to
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on
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 the environment, the
economical
Replace the word
economic
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 influence
to
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on
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 the community can not be overlooked. I strongly advocate that the
benefical
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 sides easily
compansate
Correct your spelling
compensate
 for its shortcomings.

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coherence and cohesion
Improve the logical flow by ensuring that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Consider using linking words to enhance coherence.
task achievement
Expand on the benefits discussed and provide more specific examples to support your claims. This will strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Ensure that the introduction clearly frames the discussion and presents a balanced view before stating your opinion in the conclusion.
task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the argument effectively and presents a clear opinion.
task achievement
The use of statistics related to the 2002 Olympics adds credibility to your points made in the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • host nation
  • economic benefits
  • infrastructure development
  • global standing
  • international investments
  • cultural exchange
  • financial burden
  • debt
  • environmental impact
  • short-term economic boost
  • facilities underutilization
  • displacement of residents
  • tourism
  • job creation
  • visibility on the international stage
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