In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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In many countries,
transportation
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development is always a controversial debate. Most
people
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often believe that
a
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an
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investment
on
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in
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new railways which link cities is more beneficial than enhancing
current
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the current
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public
transportation
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infrastructure. Meanwhile, others advocate that the money should be redirected to public
transportation
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.
While
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local
improvments
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improvements
support the welfare and comfort of the society and it
reduce
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reduces
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traffic jams, railway construction endorses the country's economy, since it is very crucial for trading. In my opinion, the idea of building railways has
broader
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a broader
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impact on more
people
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and it strongly contributes the finance, which outweighs public
transportation
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improvements in terms of influence. On the one hand, public
transportation
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stands out as the most significant point for city livability, because it has
direct
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a direct
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affect
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effect
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on individuals' comfort and welfare. In
contamporary
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contemporary
cities, local facilities increase connectivity of the city, so
people
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are more tend to use public vehicles rather than their private cars.
Therefore
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,
this
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approach indirectly shrinks traffic
congestions
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congestion
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.
As a result
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,
people
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acquire
higher
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a higher
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quality of life,
while
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city
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the city
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mitigates street
crowdness
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crowdedness
crowds
. A clear example of
this
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can be seen in Paris, the government of France strictly promotes public
transportation
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usage since 2010.
This
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powerful policy profoundly reduced car crowdness by 46% only in a few years.
Moreover
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, the most impressive results of
this
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attitude published in the 2020 Happiness Report,
which
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apply
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indicates
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indicate
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the
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that
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Parisians are 32% happier than before.
Nonetheless
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, to understand the beneficial points of railway construction the community should look from
wider
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a wider
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perspective
,
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apply
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since
this
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approach highly supports the national economy. Especially, traders and companies would benefit from
this
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enhancement, since
their
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apply
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one of the biggest
obstacle
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obstacles
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is
price
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the price
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of goods
transportation
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.
Furthermore
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, national
transportation
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developments would significantly reduce the price, if it is exerted.
For instance
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, the USA implemented their railways in 1865,
thereafter
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, the
finance
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finances
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of the USA exploded and doubled
itself
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apply
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. That demonstrates the influence of wider
transportation
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. In conclusion, even
these
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though these
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two arguments are
extremly
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extremely
debatable, I strongly advocate for the wider remedy, which is railway construction. It provides a pragmatic solution, which helps the community to obtain all of the results of public
transportation
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, and as a
plus
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plus,
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it
also
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grow
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grows
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the nation's
finance
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finances
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.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction presents the topic clearly, but consider rephrasing for improved clarity and flow. The thesis could be stated more directly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Some points in the body paragraphs could be better connected. Use transitional phrases to improve flow between ideas.
Task Achievement
While your examples are relevant, ensure they are fully explained. Some arguments could benefit from a more detailed connection to the thesis.
Task Achievement
Good use of examples to support the argument, particularly the case of public transportation in Paris.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes the key arguments effectively and reinforces your opinion nicely.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • infrastructure
  • efficient
  • congestion
  • sustainable
  • environmentally friendly
  • connectivity
  • economic growth
  • public transportation
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