IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Schools should focus more on teaching students how to be successful in the workforce and less on helping them to achieve academic success. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays,
schools
Use synonyms
more
Add a missing verb
are more
show examples
 focused
to help
Change preposition
on helping
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 develop their other
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
 rather than academic achievements. I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the mechanism of teaching
more
Add a missing verb
is more
show examples
 flexible
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to decades ago.
Few
Change the article
A few
show examples
 years ago,
schools
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 only
focus
Wrong verb form
focused
show examples
 on academic achievements rather than other
skills
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
,
students
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 could not express themselves better on their true abilities.
For example
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
 who do not have ability in science or mathematics but
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
have good
skills
Use synonyms
 in sports,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
cannot express themselves because all teachers only focus
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 academic progress.
Moreover
Linking Words
, many
students
Use synonyms
 did not have
opportunity
Correct article usage
the opportunity
show examples
 to develop
their
Change the pronoun
the
show examples
 hidden
skills
Use synonyms
 that can help them
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
achieve their dreams.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
schools
Use synonyms
 nowadays
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
have better methods and different perspectives
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to
few
Change the article
a few
show examples
 years ago.
Schools
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 found that
successful
Replace the word
success
show examples
 can be reached not only in
academic
Correct article usage
the academic
show examples
 field but
also
Linking Words
 in other fields.
Students
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
also
Linking Words
 can achieve their dreams
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 focusing
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 one particular thing that they want.
For example
Linking Words
, if some
students
Use synonyms
 they have lack ability in
mathematic
Replace the word
mathematics
show examples
 but they have good
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
 in football or softball they can be
a good athletes
Correct the article-noun agreement
a good athlete
good athletes
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, they can be a professional athlete in the future and be
successful
Add an article
a successful
show examples
 person.
To sum up
Linking Words
, it is a good beginning to help
students
Use synonyms
 to find their real
skills
Use synonyms
 by helping them to find
another
Replace the adjective
another skill
other skills
show examples
skills
Use synonyms
besides
Linking Words
academic
Fix the agreement mistake
academics
show examples
.
While
Linking Words
academic
Fix the agreement mistake
academics
show examples
still
Add a missing verb
are still
show examples
 important but not
seeing
Wrong verb form
see
show examples
 another skill
less
Change preposition
as less
show examples
 important.

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language use
Try to use more varied vocabulary and more complex sentence structures to improve the richness of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that your arguments are well-developed.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your opinions, which can help strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
You clearly express your agreement with the statement in the introduction, which sets a good foundation for your essay.
coherence and cohesion
You provide contrasting views in your paragraphs, showing an awareness of the topic's complexity.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • workforce
  • practical skills
  • academic success
  • real-world application
  • adaptable skills
  • vocational training
  • holistic development
  • evolving job market
  • academic rigor
  • interdisciplinary
What to do next:
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