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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph shows thefts per thousand vehicles in four European countries between 1990 and 1999. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph shows thefts per thousand vehicles in four European countries between 1990 and 1999. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The line chart compares the
number
Use synonyms
 of stolen
vehicles
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 per 1000
cars
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 in four different nations from 1990 to 1999.
Overall
Linking Words
, the rate of yearly
theft
Use synonyms
 per
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
thousand
vehicles
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 varied in all nations and the British had the highest figures throughout the period. Starting with France and
Cananda
Correct your spelling
Canada
, both had a somewhat similar growth trend. In 1990, the French and the Canadians had around 7 and 8
vehicles
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 stolen respectively. By 1993, they both decreased
such
Linking Words
 that France had approximately 7
cars
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 stolen,
Canada
Correct word choice
and Canada
show examples
 reported about 5
cars
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.
This
Linking Words
number
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 continued to fluctuate over time;
nevertheless
Linking Words
, by 1999, both had the same
number
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 of
vehicles
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 stolen which was around 6
cars
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 each. Turning to the English and the Swedes,
although
Linking Words
 Great Britain reported the largest
number
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 of vehicle
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theft
Fix the agreement mistake
thefts
show examples
, the rate of stealing
vehicles
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 in Sweden experienced an increasing pattern. In 1990, Britain had the largest car
theft
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 at about 18
cases
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 per 1000
vehicles
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while
Linking Words
 Sweden had the smallest
number
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 of a little over 5
cases
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.
However
Linking Words
, by 1999, the
cases
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 of car
theft
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 among the English had dropped to almost 15
while
Linking Words
 that of the
Swdes
Correct your spelling
Swedes
 had plunged significantly to exceed 13
cases
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, vehicles, cars, theft, cases with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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