IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

A good friend has just changed schools and is having difficulty fitting in and needs your advice. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter • make suggestions as to how they could make friends • suggest joining clubs, participating in school activities • give any extra general advice You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear...,

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Dear Sandy, I hope you are doing well. I'm happy that you transferred to one of the prestigious schools in the town. I heard from a friend that you had difficulty in social participation. I'd suggest you
to
Remove the particle
apply
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make new friends
,
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apply
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 so that your sense of isolation can be minimised. I know you are an elite dancer and competing in school
culturals
Correct your spelling
cultures
 helps you to
get
Verb problem
make
show examples
 more friends.
However
Linking Words
, you
need
Add the particle
need to
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 combat your shyness and nervousness to get
along with
Linking Words
 new friends. I would suggest you
to
Remove the particle
apply
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join
in
Change preposition
apply
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sports clubs since you are really good at sports.
Moreover
Linking Words
, participating in sports not only
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
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 with physical fitness but
also
Linking Words
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
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 you to
involve
Wrong verb form
be involved
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 in social interaction. I know it is difficult to accommodate
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
new environments but with time you can do well. Hope to hear from you soon With love, Santhoshkumar

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task achievement
Try to provide more specific suggestions on how to combat shyness, such as discussing the importance of initiating conversations or preparing some topics to talk about.
coherence
Consider breaking your points into clearer paragraphs. Your first paragraph can focus on general thoughts about making friends, while subsequent paragraphs can provide specific suggestions.
task achievement
The letter has a warm and friendly tone, which is appropriate for this context and helps to convey empathy towards your friend.
task achievement
You effectively addressed the topic by suggesting joining clubs and participating in sports activities, which are relevant suggestions for making friends at school.

The Closing

The style of the letter determine how you have to close it.

Check out the suggested closing sentences for each type of letter in the General IELTS Test. The closing sentence should be the last sentence of your letter.

Formal style (To someone you have not met, whose name you don’t know)

  • Yours faithfully,

Semi-formal (To someone you may or may not have met, whose last name you know)

  • Yours sincerely,

Informal (To someone you know well, whose first name you know and use)

  • Best regards,
  • Warm wishes,

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