IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people believe that youngsters should be required to have full-time education until they are at least 18 years old. What extent do you agree or disagree?

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In today's world,
education
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 has played
key
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a key
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 role in
people
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's lives. For some
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people
Add a comma
people,
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 all young
people
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 ought to devote their time
for
Change preposition
to
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whole
Correct pronoun usage
their whole
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 time
education
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 till coming
off
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of
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 age . I believe
while
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 it is pivotal, it is
irrefutable
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an irrefutable
the irrefutable
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 fact that some youngsters are unwilling to continue their academic lessons .
To begin
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 with, for
Correct article usage
the future
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future
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future,
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 it is important to produce literary cadres who contribute to the
worlds
Fix the agreement mistake
world
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as well as
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 the country. In
this
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 sense, it can be contributory.
High- educated
Correct your spelling
High-educated
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people
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 might have good career paths and prospects academically before entering professional life.
Additionally
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, getting
high quality
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high-quality
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education
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 can culminate in a prosperous academic career in their later stage of lives.
Secondly
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, I support the idea of not completing
full- time
Correct your spelling
full-time
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education
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. By saying that, not all
people
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was
Wrong verb form
are
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 born into equal circumstances, as socioeconomic disparities significantly influence their academic improvement. In certain regions, children are often compelled to participate in
labor
Change the spelling
labour
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 from an early age
due to
Linking Words
 economic pressures within their families. For certain individuals who exhibit disinterest in formal
education
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, early engagement in the workforce can prove to be highly advantageous for their personal and financial development In conclusion,
While
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 l recognize the importance of
education
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 in shaping young
people
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's futures, l believe that requiring full-time
education
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 until
age
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the age
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 of 18 might not be the best solution for everyone . A more flexible approach , which takes individual interests and career aspirations into account, would be more beneficial

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task achievement
Clarify your main arguments and ensure that each paragraph directly relates to your position on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the transitions between ideas and ensure a smoother flow of information throughout your essay.
task achievement
Expand on your examples and provide clearer specific instances to back up your points.
task achievement
Your introduction addresses the topic and presents your personal viewpoint clearly, which is good.
task achievement
You provide a range of opinions regarding the necessity of education, demonstrating an understanding of different perspectives.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of your essay includes an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is a solid foundation.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • compulsory education
  • essential skills
  • illiteracy
  • job market
  • career paths
  • opportunities
  • job satisfaction
  • social skills
  • critical thinking
  • teamwork
  • vocational training
  • apprenticeship programs
  • individual differences
  • alternative learning environments
  • real-world work experience
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