IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some countries have introduced laws to limit working hours for employees. Why are these laws introduced? Do you think they are a positive or negative development?

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Several regions have introduced bands to limit working
hours
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 for
employees
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. Many people illustrate that it is positive to control
time
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 working rates. At the same
time
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, some experts argue
this
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 notion. In
this
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 essay, we will discuss both points of view. On the one hand, the governments are trying to trace and hold all functional sectors.
Then
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, they select
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
particular
laws
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 that suit their situation. Specifically، working
hours
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 management.
However
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, The primary advantage
is relieve
Change the verb form
is relieved
is relieving
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 work pressure to give them a chance to develop themselves.
For example
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, provided statistics by Havard University in 2021 illustrate the difference of workplace environment with
time
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laws
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 and non-
time
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laws
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 by
ask
Change the verb form
asking
show examples
 1000
employees
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. The result was a noticeable advantage for the first type
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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about 40%. They developed themselves in
short
Add an article
a short
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time
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 because
they
Add a verb
they are
they were
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 comfortable with
time
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-
hours
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 rules.
on the other hand
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, many people show the opposite that
this
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 idea has
different
Add an article
a different
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drawback
Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
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 because a lot of companies
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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require additional
time
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 to finish essential projects.
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as
Capitalize word
As
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 a result, they will increase their salaries
at the end
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 of
month
Add an article
the month
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 as a reward for their overtime.
Furthermore
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,
this
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 concept benefited numerous
employees
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 who do not have
problem
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a problem
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to work
Change the verb form
working
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 over 4 more
hours
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 to earn money.
Linking Words
for
Capitalize word
For
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 instance, A Japanese organisation shared the amount of money spent
in
Change preposition
on
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 additional rewards for their
employees
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. they said that a lot of societies prefer to gain more budget anyway.
to sum up
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,
this
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 idea has advantages and disadvantages. it's necessary to put working
hours
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laws
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 after
long
Add an article
a long
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time
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 of studying with researchers and
experts
Change noun form
experts'
expert's
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 help. to avoid any damage
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the employee's career.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clarify your arguments more effectively. Connect your ideas with clear reasoning to enhance understanding.
lexical resource
Use more varied vocabulary and sentence structures to improve fluency and demonstrate a higher level of language proficiency.
task achievement
Ensure that your examples are relevant and well explained. Each point you make should be supported by a solid example or evidence.
task achievement
The essay demonstrates an attempt to address both sides of the argument, which is a good strategy for IELTS essays.
task achievement
You have provided some examples to support your points, which adds depth to your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • 1. Burnout
  • 2. Work-life balance
  • 3. Productivity
  • 4. Diminishing returns
  • 5. Ethical responsibility
  • 6. Exploitation
  • 7. Fair labor practices
  • 8. Chronic illnesses
  • 9. Job creation
  • 10. Unemployment rates
What to do next:
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