A lot of money is spent nowadays searching for oil. As the world's oil resources will eventually run out, it would be more logical to spend some of this money on developing new sources of power, such as wind and solar. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

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It is argued that investing in searching
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oil
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for oil
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is a waste of money as it would be more relevant to develop wind and solar
energy
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.
This
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essay completely disagrees with
this
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statement because these types of resources are not reliable and
also
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because it is financially advantageous to rely on fossil power. It is conspicuous that
energy
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is a prime matter in our modern society because it is the cornerstone of the economy. Indeed, in order to evolve, countries are in need of a viable kind of
energy
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, which is not only affordable
,
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apply
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but
also
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sufficient to cover all the requirements. In
this
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regard, solar panels and wind turbines can not yield enough power to cover the global necessity.
On the contrary
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, fossil
energy
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is still
the
Correct article usage
a
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consequential resource to be used.
Hence
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, investments that aim to look for new
oil
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locations are indebutably viable.
For example
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, European countries are still exporting fossil fuels from Middle Eastern nations to run their industry and their vehicles because there is no better alternative. The second reason why spending money to discover new
oil
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locations is certainly the first-rate option
,
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is that there are, as a matter of fact, new spots that were recently found and there will always be.
This
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is because fossil products are found beneath the earth, by reason of ancient
fishes
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fish
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skeletons that remained there for centuries.
Therefore
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, even if scientists aren't always capable of finding spots of
this
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precious liquid, it doesn't mean that it will run out. In Russia
for example
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, new spots of
oil
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have been located because of the overwhelming subsidy of the government, which will ensure a sustainable economy for
this
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nation. In conclusion, it is crystal clear that spending money in order to explore new
theoritical
Correct your spelling
theoretical
sites of
oil
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is relevant because fossil
energy
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is currently the most viable resource
in addition
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to the fact that many states have found some of these locations.

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coherence and cohesion
Try to clearly articulate the main points in each paragraph and ensure they flow logically into one another. Currently, the connection between ideas can feel a bit abrupt at times.
language
Make sure to diversify your vocabulary and structure. Although your essay contains good ideas, repetitive phrases can weaken the overall strength of your argument. Aim for varied sentence structures and synonyms.
task achievement
It may be beneficial to discuss potential drawbacks or downsides to focusing solely on fossil fuels, which could strengthen your argument and show deeper critical thinking.
task achievement
You have provided a clear opinion in your introduction and supported it with a series of reasons and examples throughout the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an overall clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is essential for coherence.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • finite
  • renewable energy sources
  • expenditure
  • compromise
  • sustainable
  • environmental impact
  • infrastructure
  • economic sustainability
  • dependency
  • fluctuating prices
  • stimulate
  • job creation
  • vested interests
  • transition
  • reluctance
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