IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

People living in large cities have to face many problems in everyday life. what are those problems? should the government encourage people to move to regional town? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

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It is said that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
there are various problems in
Use synonyms
life
Add an article
the life
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who live in big
cities
Use synonyms
 and
government
Use synonyms
 should inspire
people
Use synonyms
 to
move
Use synonyms
 to small
towns
Use synonyms
 in order to have a better
life
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will explain all the issues faced by humans in urban
Use synonyms
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 as well
the
Correct word choice
as the
show examples
 reason why
govern
Replace the word
government
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 bodies should inspire
people
Use synonyms
 to
move
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 villages.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the primary problem which is faced by human beings who live in
metripolitian
Correct your spelling
metropolitan
Use synonyms
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 is
pollution
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.
Due to
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large
Change the article
a large
the large
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number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
Add an article
the population
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population
Add a comma
population,
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 there is more traffic on the roads which
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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noise and air
pollution
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.
For example
Linking Words
, the honks of
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
 and gas released by it
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 the key
factor
Fix the agreement mistake
factors
show examples
 of
pollution
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 in
cities
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. Another issue is inflation. It is said that more demand, more price. Having
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 population in big
towns
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also
Linking Words
 means having more demand
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the product and if it is for necessity
then
Linking Words
 it would be so inexpensive that it will
hard
Add a missing verb
be hard
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 to afford.
For example
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, in India, where milk
in
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 few bucks in villages where it
has
Verb problem
is
show examples
 more supply, in urban
Use synonyms
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 it has been sold for ten times more amount. Other than that, every person comes to big
cities
Use synonyms
 to seek better job opportunities but there are not always enough jobs for everyone which leads to poverty and struggle for youngsters.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, the
government
Use synonyms
 should create more work options in small
towns
Use synonyms
 so youngsters can
move
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 there and
leads
Correct subject-verb agreement
lead
show examples
 better
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life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
Government
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 should
also
Linking Words
 encourage
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 to
move
Use synonyms
 to regional areas so it can help in development. If any town has
Correct article usage
a rapidly
show examples
rapidly
Change the word
rapid
show examples
 increase in its
populations
Fix the agreement mistake
population
show examples
 it tends to be developed because it
force
Change the verb form
forces
show examples
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 to work in said
area
Use synonyms
. It would help in decreasing the level of
pollution
Use synonyms
 in big
cities
Use synonyms
 as well. In conclusion, the problems faced by
people
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 in big
cities
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 are very serious and some measures need to be taken to prevent the quality of
life
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decreasing
Change preposition
from decreasing
show examples
 in
cities
Use synonyms
. The
government
Use synonyms
 should encourage companies to plant their factories in small
towns
Use synonyms
 so
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 can develop as well.

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task achievement
Your introduction could be clearer by stating the main problems and your position on whether the government should encourage migration to small towns. This would help set a clear agenda for your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use more varied sentence structures and vocabulary to enhance fluency. Some phrases are repetitive and could be rephrased for better clarity.
task achievement
Make sure to always provide specific examples that directly relate to your points. The examples you provided are good, but further elaboration can strengthen your argument.
task achievement
You addressed a relevant topic, presenting multiple problems faced by urban residents.
task achievement
Your writing demonstrates an understanding of the issue and explores potential solutions.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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