All over the world, people watch foreign films much more than locally produced films. Why? Should the government provide financial support to local film industries?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is true that in
this
Linking Words
contemporary world,
mostly
Correct your spelling
most
show examples
viewers show their interest in watching internationally developed
movies
Use synonyms
rather than the films which are originated at regional
platform
Fix the agreement mistake
platforms
show examples
. There are
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
of reasons behind the shifting interest of
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
towards
western
Capitalize word
Western
show examples
cinema and
according to
Linking Words
me
state
Correct article usage
the state
show examples
should definitely provide monetary assistance to
local
Add an article
the local
show examples
film
industry
Use synonyms
. There are numerous factors which attract the audience towards
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
oversea
Fix the agreement mistake
overseas
show examples
movies
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, huge investment is the biggest reason behind the fame of these
movies
Use synonyms
. They have state-of-the-art technology
due to
Linking Words
which they are able to develop sophisticated techniques and higher quality in terms of visual effects which becomes the reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
giving big blockbusters to the entertainment world.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
availability
Correct article usage
the availability
show examples
of more genres in these
movies
Use synonyms
is
also
Linking Words
thing
Correct article usage
a thing
show examples
Correct pronoun usage
that need
show examples
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
to be considered as compared to the familiar storyline of regional
movies
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
,
movies
Use synonyms
based on science and technology,
wild life
Correct your spelling
wildlife
show examples
and space exploration make
real
Add an article
a real
show examples
difference.
Finally
Linking Words
,
curiosity
Add an article
the curiosity
a curiosity
show examples
of
masses
Correct article usage
the masses
show examples
to know about foreign
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
and
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
show examples
is
also
Linking Words
helpful
to attract
Change preposition
in attracting
show examples
international viewers.
However
Linking Words
,
local
Correct article usage
the local
show examples
film
industry
Use synonyms
should not be allowed to suffer from the onslaught of international films. The first benefit of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
patronage by the government can assist it to flourish the local cinema and
would
Verb problem
apply
show examples
make it capable
to compete
Change preposition
of competing
show examples
with international films.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it seems an essential approach to portray the culture in front of the world as these
movies
Use synonyms
act as
carrier
Fix the agreement mistake
carriers
show examples
of
country's
Correct article usage
the country's
show examples
culture.
Linking Words
At
Change the preposition
In
show examples
the end,
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
subsidizing
this
Linking Words
industry
Use synonyms
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will help to boost the tourism
industry
Use synonyms
too because by watching the attractive locations through
movies
Use synonyms
, authorities will be able to attract more
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
visitors which ultimately, will appear as a positive sign for the economy. In conclusion, I believe that certain key reasons exist which enhance the worldwide fame of
hollywood
Change the capitalization
Hollywood
show examples
movies
Use synonyms
, but some immediate steps need to be taken to protect the existence of local cinema.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples and elaborating on points with relevant details or anecdotes to enhance the argument.
coherence and cohesion
Try to better connect the ideas between sentences and paragraphs to ensure a smoother flow.
coherence and cohesion
Refine the introduction to clearly outline all the main points you will discuss in the essay, and ensure each paragraph supports those points clearly.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt effectively and presents a clear opinion on the issue.
task achievement
There is a good range of vocabulary used to describe the film industry and the reasoning behind the popularity of foreign films.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: