Some people believe that reading stories from e-book better than watching TV or playing computer games for children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some people have faith that reading stories from
e-book
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e-books
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is better than watching television or playing computer
games
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for
kids
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. In my personal opinion, I strongly agree with
this
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statement.
This
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essay will convey the writer's perspectives
according
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according to
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her statement. First and foremost, reading habit is really good for
kids
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nowadays. Through reading, they will know many vocabularies that will
beneficial
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be beneficial
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for their lives.
Moreover
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, based on research in one university in Indonesia,
kids
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who love reading have
good
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better
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grades than
kids
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who don't like
read
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reading
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.
Besides
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that,
kids
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who love reading can practice their imagination which is good for
children
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. Imagination will help
children
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for
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with
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their creativity.
Nevertheless
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, the parents and teachers have to screen the books to make sure they read books based on their ages.
Furthermore
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, parents and
children
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have no ability to control what their
kids
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see
in
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on
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TV and computer
games
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.
For instance
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,
flux
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the flux
a flux
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of
advertisement
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advertisements
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is wide in
the
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apply
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TV and online
games
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. These things can influence
children
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's behaviour, especially the bad things. For online
games
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,
children
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can meet strangers,
that
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which
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will
give
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apply
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impact
to
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apply
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their lives and behaviours as well. In conclusion, the writer
agree
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agrees
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to choose
reading
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to read
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books from
e-book
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e-books
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rather than watching TV or
plaiying
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playing
computer
games
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for
kids
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. Reading habits will give many benefits for
children
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.

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task achievement
Revise the introduction to more clearly state your main argument and outline the key points of your essay. Consider rephrasing for clarity and grammatical accuracy.
coherence and cohesion
Improve transitions between points to enhance flow and clarity. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily.
task achievement
Provide a few more specific examples or details to strengthen your arguments, particularly in the second body paragraph. This can include references to studies or statistics related to children's media consumption.
task achievement
The writer presents a clear opinion on the topic and maintains a consistent perspective throughout the essay, which is a strong aspect.
task achievement
The essay touches on the benefits of reading and the potential dangers of other media, which is relevant to the prompt and shows awareness of the topic's complexities.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • engagement
  • imagination
  • visualization
  • comprehension
  • independent reading
  • sedentary behavior
  • educational content
  • emotional connections
  • immersive
  • storytelling
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