IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In recent years, there has been a rise in the use of performance-enhancing drugs in sports. What are the consequences of doping for athletes? What measures should be taken to combat this issue?

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Nowadays,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
anabolic
Use synonyms
steroids
Use synonyms
 are used by athletes
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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improve to growth
hormone
Fix the agreement mistake
hormones
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 and help to build up muscles.
However
Linking Words
, it can cause
rigorous
Correct word choice
serious
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 health issues, and it might turn
to
Change preposition
into
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 addiction.
Therefore
Linking Words
, governments can protect individuals way to
prohibit
Wrong verb form
prohibiting
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
drugs
Use synonyms
,
find
Wrong verb form
finding
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 more healthy
alternative
Fix the agreement mistake
alternatives
show examples
 and consciousness-raising about
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 damage in the schools.
Most of
Change preposition
In most
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 countries, people are prone to consult
anabolic
Use synonyms
drugs
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as
steroids
Use synonyms
, erythropoietin and stimulants.
However
Linking Words
, the
affects
Replace the word
effects
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 of the
drugs
Use synonyms
 are highly
devastated
Replace the word
devastating
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 can lead to respiratory diseases like a heart attack and addiction
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
when they
gave
Wrong verb form
give
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 up use of the
steroids
Use synonyms
, it reduces
testosterone
Correct article usage
the testosterone
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 hormone which is
the
Change the article
apply
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very harmful
for
Change preposition
to
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organism
Fix the agreement mistake
organisms
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.
For example
Linking Words
, Lie Priest who was the use of
anabolic
Use synonyms
 steroid, had died
due to
Linking Words
 heart attack
while
Linking Words
 44 years old.
As a result
Linking Words
, he
was devastate
Change the verb form
was devastated
show examples
his
Change preposition
by his
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 life and
also
Linking Words
show
Wrong verb form
showed
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 the damage of the
steroids
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, governments should address the solution of the problem. Protective measures
such
Linking Words
 as
ban
Wrong verb form
banning
show examples
 the
drugs
Use synonyms
,
invest
Wrong verb form
investing
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 money
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 scientific
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
 in order to find healthy
alternative
Fix the agreement mistake
alternatives
show examples
,
education
Correct word choice
and education
show examples
 on the harness of
steroids
Use synonyms
 can be more beneficial.
For example
Linking Words
, scientists could develop a steroid that contains different healing herbs, which would not only help people build up muscle more easily but
also
Linking Words
 ensure that it does not harm their health. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
anabolic
Use synonyms
steroids
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 the most of harness
drugs
Use synonyms
 all over the world, some protective measures can be initiated by governments. The scientific
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
 can provide more healthy opportunities in the future.

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task achievement
Clarify and elaborate on the main points to provide a more comprehensive response.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the logical flow of ideas by using clearer transitions and linking words to connect sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
The essay addresses the topic and presents both the consequences of doping and measures to combat it.
task achievement
Some relevant examples are provided to illustrate the points made, like referencing a specific case of an athlete affected by steroid use.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Performance-enhancing drugs (PEDs)
  • Doping
  • Anabolic steroids
  • Health ramifications
  • Stigmatization
  • Disqualification
  • Anti-doping agencies
  • Therapeutic Use Exemptions (TUEs)
  • Integrity of sports
  • Biological passport
  • In-competition testing
  • Out-of-competition testing
  • Whistleblower
  • Ban substances
  • Suspension
  • World Anti-Doping Agency (WADA)
What to do next:
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