IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You recently went to a concert and thought one of the singers was very good. You want to tell him how you feel. Write a letter ro the singer. In your letter . say how you feel about his performance . give details of your musical activities . explain how you would like him to help you with your musical activities

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Dear Sir, I hope you are doing well. I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to express my appreciation wishes to you. I attended one of your performances at Mall Road on 23rd July and I felt amazed with your singing performance.
Moreover
Linking Words
, I have been a fan of your melody songs since childhood.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 is my first time attending your concert in person. I have been
practicing
Change the spelling
practising
show examples
guitar
Change the article
the guitar
show examples
from
Change preposition
since
show examples
 10th grade and competed
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 college levels. I am really good at Folk and Western
music
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, I am learning to sing melody songs with the help of my tutor. Since
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 I am a big fan and loyal follower of your
music
Use synonyms
, it is easy for me to learn the basics. I would like to join your crew as
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 assistant or intern to learn
music
Use synonyms
 professionally. I have
very
Correct article usage
a very
show examples
 good
music
Use synonyms
 background and
hunger
Correct article usage
a hunger
show examples
 to learn it from a
legend
Replace the word
legendary
show examples
 singer. Please accept my proposal. I am looking forward to hearing from you soon Yours sincerely, Santhoshkumar

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Make sure to express your appreciation more clearly and warmly at the beginning of the letter. Consider using phrases like 'I was truly captivated by your performance.'
coherence and cohesion
Try to organize your thoughts more logically by grouping similar ideas in the same paragraph. This helps enhance the flow of your letter.
task achievement
In your request to join the singer's crew, consider providing more detail about how you could contribute or what specific skills you bring to this role.
positive aspect
Your enthusiasm for the singer's music and your dedication to learning are evident throughout the letter.
positive aspect
The letter maintains a polite tone, which is important when addressing someone you admire.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: