IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some people think that when recruiting, companies should aim to take on people who are innovative and able to work independently while others considered they should recruit people who are able to work in a team and follow instructions. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Introduction
Todays
Fix the agreement mistake
Today
show examples
, some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that some
people
Use synonyms
 are being recruited
in
Change preposition
by
show examples
Correct article usage
an organization
show examples
organization
Fix the agreement mistake
organizations
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due to
Linking Words
 employees are responsible
to do
Change preposition
for doing
show examples
 all
Correct pronoun usage
their resposibilities
show examples
resposibilities
Correct your spelling
responsibilities
.
While
Linking Words
 others argue that
people
Use synonyms
 should follow roles to
work
Use synonyms
 in teams. I believe that one
company
Use synonyms
 recruited someone who is capable of working in a group .In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will delve into
issue
Add an article
the issue
show examples
 and provide evidence to support my viewpoint.
Body paragraph 1
Firstly
Linking Words
, talented
people
Use synonyms
 play significant roles in companies which have
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
decided to extend their companies.
In other
Linking Words
words
Add a comma
words,
show examples
 they recruited
people
Use synonyms
 to manage some parts of
organization
Correct article usage
the organization
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 without
Correct article usage
the essetial
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essetial
Correct your spelling
essential
people
Use synonyms
 who
establish
Wrong verb form
established
show examples
 it.
For instance
Linking Words
, some
peopel
Correct your spelling
people
 not only
work
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
company
Add an article
the company
a company
show examples
, but
also
Linking Words
 manage it as a boss.
Body paragraph 2
In
Change preposition
On
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other
Correct article usage
the other
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hands
Fix the agreement mistake
hand
show examples
, some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that the main aim is just following instructions and
meet
Wrong verb form
meeting
show examples
Correct article usage
the projects
show examples
projects
Change noun form
project's
show examples
 deadline.
This
Linking Words
 is because they are helping the organization gain benefits
such
Linking Words
 as increasing
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
income,
being
Correct word choice
and being
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famouse
Correct your spelling
famous
 in their fields. In my
opinin
Correct your spelling
opinion
opinin'
, I agree with
this
Linking Words
 belief.
For example
Linking Words
,
generally
Add a comma
generally,
show examples
 some
people
Use synonyms
 are less interested in taking important roles in
Use synonyms
company
Correct article usage
a company
show examples
due to
Linking Words
 financial
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
 they prefer
Use synonyms
work
Fix the infinitive
to work
show examples
 in a
company
Use synonyms
 as
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 employee.
Conclusion
overall
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that being independent is the main goal in recruiting
people
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, some think working in a
company
Use synonyms
let
Wrong verb form
lets
show examples
people
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
 in a team because they are less
phanatical
Correct your spelling
practical
 about
responsibilitis
Correct your spelling
responsibilities
responsibility
.

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coherence and cohesion
To improve your logical structure, consider using clear topic sentences for each paragraph that guide the reader through your arguments. Additionally, ensure a smoother transition between ideas.
task achievement
In your introduction, clarify your thesis statement more explicitly. This helps to set clear expectations for the reader.
task achievement
Make sure to provide more relevant and specific examples to support your arguments, as this will strengthen your points and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
task achievement
You present both sides of the argument, demonstrating an understanding of the topic and consideration of multiple perspectives.
task achievement
Your attempts to express your opinion clearly are commendable, as it shows your engagement with the topic.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovative
  • independent
  • creative
  • problem-solving skills
  • development
  • new ideas
  • solutions
  • productivity
  • competitiveness
  • teamwork
  • collaboration
  • communication
  • consistency
  • adherence
  • policies
  • conflicts
  • efficiency
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