IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Problem: International tourism has brought enormous benefits to many places. At the same time, there is concern about its impact on local habitants and the environment. Do the disadvantages of international tourism outweigh the advantages?

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It is undeniable that International
tourism
Use synonyms
creats
Correct your spelling
creates
create
 new jobs in our society and is profitable in many countries.
However
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, the tourist attractions are
also
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 suffering from large amounts of litter. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss both points of view and give my own opinion
toward
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
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 topic. On the one hand,
tourism
Use synonyms
 brings a bigger profit to the city. In fact, Most of
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people
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the people
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 who
went
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go
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 to
the
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apply
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other
country
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countries
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 for their
hoildays
Correct your spelling
holidays
 use money more than usual. The Korean National Statistics conducted
the
Correct article usage
a
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 survey about
average
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the average
an average
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 amount of money spent when
people
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on
Add a missing verb
are on
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 the way to travel.
According to
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 that, the price they used when they
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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went
tour
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on tour
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 was 2.5 higher than their daily usage of it.
This
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 can lead
flourish
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flourishing
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 of
the
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apply
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tourist spots, and naturally, occur increasing
demand
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the demand
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of
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for
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 human
labor
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labour
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.
As a result
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, the city would become more crowded and famous.
On the other hand
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,
although
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 the economy of cities
are
Verb problem
has
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became
Wrong verb form
become
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 more
prosper
Replace the word
prosperous
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, they're suffering from many problems
such
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 as
trashes
Correct subject-verb agreement
trash
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. The more fame they gained, the more
people
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 came.
This
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 - plenty amount of humans - has
negative
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a negative
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 impact
to
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on
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 the environment the city has.
For instance
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,
Cebu
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in Cebu
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 in
Philiphine
Correct your spelling
Philippines
Philippine
, which is famous for
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
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 beautiful ocean,
government
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the government
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 made a new regulation of trash that tourists throw away to their ocean. There were literally
over
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apply
show examples
tons of
litters
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litter
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evey
Correct your spelling
every
 year, and they
want
Wrong verb form
wanted
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 to preserve their clean sea. The pollution made by
crowd
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the crowd
a crowd
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 who went there as a vacation was severe, so they had to make it illegal to discard things
in to
Join the words
into
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 the sea. In conclusion, the
tourism
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 industry
give
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gives
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 us not only economic advantages but
also
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 discomfort
to
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for
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people
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 living
in
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apply
show examples
there.
Consequently
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, the governments need to have a clever solution to use
the
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apply
show examples
tourism
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 as a helpful tool, maintaining a balance between economic growth and conserving
the
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apply
show examples
natures
Fix the agreement mistake
nature
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.

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task achievement
Refine the introduction to clearly state your opinion on whether the disadvantages outweigh the advantages.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the organization of ideas in each paragraph to ensure a smoother flow, linking sentences better.
task achievement
Include more specific examples or case studies to strengthen your argument and support your points.
task achievement
The essay addresses both the positive and negative aspects of international tourism, showing a balanced perspective.
task achievement
There is a clear attempt to provide examples to support claims regarding the impacts of tourism.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Economic boost
  • Cultural exchange
  • Revenue generation
  • Job creation
  • Environmental degradation
  • Natural habitat destruction
  • Pollution
  • Resource overuse
  • Cultural erosion
  • Local traditions
  • Infrastructure strain
  • Inflation
  • Tourism demand
  • Price hike
  • Heritage sharing
What to do next:
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