You recently visited the zoological park and had an uncanny experience , as the man died by falling in the tiger enclosure. You were not able to do anything at that point, but wanted to show your concern for the safety of the visitors. Write an email to director of Zoological park in about 150-200 words. Your email should do the following. 1)Give a description of the incident 2)Complain about the short fencing 3)Show your concern for the safety of the visitors.

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Dear Sir, I am writing to express my concern regarding the safety level in the zoological

park

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Last

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weekend, I got a chance to visit the

park

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with my 6-year-old daughter. She had been so excited and had not been able to fall asleep the night before. But, all of her enthusiasm disappeared by the terrible accident she witnessed and I believe she will never forget

this

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incident. Regarding the accident, we were passing the lion cage

while

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some children and adults were viewing the lions. Suddenly, I noticed that a man who was accompanied by his son and his wife was trying to climb the cage fence. I am not sure what happened that he fell down in the lions' cage and unfortunately, was attacked by 2 lions and died in front of the visitor's eyes. No one could assist him and no security guard was available to save him. That accident was terrible not only for me but

also

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for all the spectators

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especially kids and children. Perhaps it would be helpful to reassess the safety factors in the Zoological

park

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. In my opinion, fences should be redesigned and reconstructed; they are very short and the risk of reoccurrence of events like that incident is extremely high.

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, I suppose the number of security and safety individuals should be increased and they have to be located in various spots in the

park

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. I look forward to hearing from you soon. Yours Faithfully, Zari Shamsa

zari.shamsa40Thu Feb 20 2025

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coherence and cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a clear main idea. Your email structure is logical, but consider separating the description of the incident and the suggestions for improving safety into distinct paragraphs for better clarity.

task achievement

When providing a description of the incident, using more descriptive language could enhance the emotional impact and clarity of the situation. This could help convey the severity of the event more effectively.

task achievement

Consider including a suggestion for follow-up actions or a request for a response from the director. This would reinforce your engagement and concern for visitor safety.

task achievement

Your email has a strong opening that clearly states the purpose and context. The emotional connection you have made with your daughter’s experience is commendable and adds depth to the narrative.

task achievement

The details of the incident are vividly recounted, which helps to establish a sense of urgency regarding safety concerns.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

8 paragraphs

247 words

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Most people have forgotten the meaning behind traditional or religious festivals; during festival periods, people nowadays only want to enjoy themselves. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

In many countries schools have severe problems with student behaviour. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions c an you sug?

'A country’s museums should always be free for people to visit, whatever the visitor’s age, income or nationality.’ To what level do you agree with this idea? Should museums always be free for all visitors?