IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Education is
a
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an
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 important factor in
nation
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a nation
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 towards progress. Some individuals argue that educating boys and girls in separate
school
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schools
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 is more beneficial,
while
Linking Words
other
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others
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provide
Verb problem
argue
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 that coeducational institutions
provides
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provide
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 great advantages . In my perspective, education in mixed schools provides essential social skills that promote confidence.
Firstly
Linking Words
 ,
coeducational
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the coeducational
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 system provides interaction between students of different genders .
This
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 interaction
enhance
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enhances
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 their ability to navigate social situations and collab with
individual
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individuals
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. Engaging together provides a deep understanding of interpersonal dynamics and emotional intelligence.
Conversly
Correct your spelling
Conversely
, there are some advantages to educating in
single gender
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single-gender
show examples
 schools . They may offer a sense of comfort, allowing them to express their identity without pressure which
aries
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arises
 in mixed settings .
Male only
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Male-only
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 or
female only
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female-only
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 institutions offer strong bonds .
Gender specific
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Gender-specific
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 aid in distractions and providing
focused
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a focused
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 academic environment .
Moreover
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, coeducational
provide
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provides
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 value
needs
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needed
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to
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for
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 social success . Working
wih
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with
 both
the
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apply
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genders encourages respect, understanding and collaboration among students.
Diverse
Correct article usage
A diverse
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 environment enhances a child self
estem
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esteem
 with skill and
also
Linking Words
 standing in
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the work
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work place
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workplace
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. It
prepare
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prepares
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 for
real life
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real-life
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challenge
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challenges
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 where cooperation and communication for all
background
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backgrounds
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 are important. In conclusion,
in
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apply
show examples
single gender
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single-gender
show examples
 may offer comfort and few distractions but My opinion is that mixed schools provide
experience
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an experience
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 which enables children to step beyond their comfort zone and help
in
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apply
show examples
future leaders in society .

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task achievement
Make sure your introduction clearly states both sides of the argument before presenting your opinion. This will provide a clearer overview for the reader.
coherence and cohesion
Work on enhancing the logical flow of your points. Each paragraph should have a clear topic sentence that links back to your main argument.
task achievement
Try to include more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. This would provide more depth to your ideas and make your essay more convincing.
coherence and cohesion
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and spelling errors which can detract from the overall coherence of your writing. Proofreading can be beneficial.
task achievement
You present a clear opinion in your introduction and conclusion, which is a good practice in argumentative writing.
task achievement
Your argument for coeducational systems is well elaborated and emphasizes important social skills that are developed in mixed environments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • co-education
  • gender segregation
  • peer pressure
  • academic performance
  • gender stereotypes
  • discrimination
  • social skills
  • teamwork
  • collaboration
  • diversity
What to do next:
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