IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Multinational companies are becoming increasingly common in developing countries. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

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Multinational companies are spreading worldwide as their business is increasing. There are several benefits of multinational companies and drawbacks which I am going to discuss in
further
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 paragraphs .
Firstly
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 ,There is an increasing demand for big brands throughout the world which is beneficial. If anyone is planning to buy a product from any of the big brands they might have to travel to their specific country to purchase from any of their
store
Change to a plural noun
stores
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, so they need to include travelling costs
as well as
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hotel
Add an article
a hotel
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 stay in their budget, If these products are available in their country , they will save the cost of travelling .
Furthermore
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, one will easily buy original products .
For
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example
Add a comma
example,
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 recently
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 decided to buy a watch for my father so
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 decided to buy a
fossil
Capitalize word
Fossil
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 watch and its original store is in Dubai . Recently their original store opened in my city , so
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 bought it from there and saved my travel expenses and
also
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 got the original brand .
Secondly
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, the disadvantage of opening various branches results in lower
the
Correct article usage
apply
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value of the specific products because the product loses its grace if it is easily available .
For instance
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, the Nike shoe brand has opened several branches worldwide and noticed a huge decline in sales .Humans get attracted to the things which are rare and they feel happy and outclassed whenever they wear something which is unique. At
last
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 , opening multinational companies has various advantages for people, like saving travelling expenses and receiving the original product,
however
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, one should not forget its disadvantages as well, which might have major effects on the businesses.

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task achievement
Try to develop your ideas further and provide a clearer analysis of the advantages and disadvantages. For instance, you could discuss the impact of multinational companies on local economies or employment.
coherence and cohesion
Improve transitions between paragraphs and within sentences to enhance the overall flow. Consider using phrases like 'On one hand...' and 'On the other hand...' to guide the reader through your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Be mindful of grammatical accuracy and punctuation for a smoother reading experience. For example, check for proper spacing after commas and periods, as well as capitalization at the beginning of sentences.
task achievement
You have provided a personal example that makes your argument relatable and engaging.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both sides of the topic, which is essential for a balanced discussion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Globalization
  • Multinational corporations (MNCs)
  • Foreign direct investment (FDI)
  • Developing economies
  • Infrastructure development
  • Capacity building
  • Cultural diversity
  • Sustainability
  • Corporate social responsibility (CSR)
  • Technological transfer
  • Economic disparity
  • Market saturation
  • Brain drain
  • Indigenous industries
  • Expatriate management
  • Trade imbalance
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