IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think better effective?

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Over population
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Overpopulation
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 and technological advancements have been drastically rising which causes
increase
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an increase
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 in the
use
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 of
fossil powered
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fossil-powered
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vehicles
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. Some
people
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 believe that hiking the price of
petrol
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 is the best solution to solve
this
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 problem. I totally agree with the statement and suggest some other measures to mitigate
this
Linking Words
 problem in
this
Linking Words
 essay. Cutting-edge technological innovations made assembling the vehicle parts more
cost- efficient
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cost-efficient
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 which made cars and bikes affordable to everyone.
However
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, a few social activists are suggesting
to increase
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increasing
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 the price of
petrol
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 that can shift
people
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's commute from private
vehicles
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 to public
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transports
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transport
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.
Moreover
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, it can cause economic
burdern
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burdens
 to underprivileged
people
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 so that
people
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 can change their interests more towards electric
vehicles
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 and public
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transports
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transport
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. A recent study from Pollution Control of India found that fossil fuel
transports
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 contribute
to10
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to 10
percent
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per cent
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 of greenhouse gases that
prone
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are prone
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 to air pollution and global warming.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, traffic congestion has been a major disruptor of
day to day
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day-to-day
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 living for most
people
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.
Cost effective
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Cost-effective
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vehicles
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 made everyone drive their own rides and ultimately, it led to traffic.
Due to
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this
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, many
people
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 are running late to their offices.
Finally
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, increasing the cost of
petrol
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 can significantly reduce the
use
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 of vehicle usage and
postively
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positively
 impact the environment. The Government should pass
legislations
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legislation
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 in tax reductions to encourage electric
vehicles
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.
In particular
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,
approval
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the approval
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 and documentation process should be made
convinient
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convenient
 for
people
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.
For example
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,
Chinese
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the Chinese
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 government passed a law that every family should have
atleast
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at least
 one electric vehicle.
Additionally
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, educating
people
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 about the environmental degradation and greenhouse causes
due to
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 fossil
vehicles
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 can bring a change. Awareness programs should be conducted
on
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in
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 schools about the dangers of global warming.
As a result
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, these children tend to
use
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less
Correct quantifier usage
fewer
show examples
Use synonyms
petrol powered
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petrol-powered
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vehicles
Use synonyms
 in future. In conclusion, even though rising
petrol
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 prices can significantly minimize the
use
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 of private
vehicles
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,
government
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the government
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 should implement laws
such
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 as
promotion
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the promotion
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 of electric
vehicles
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 and awareness programs to prevent environmental damage.
Moreover
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, individuals should be responsible and drive the
vehicles
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, when it is absolutely necessary.
Finally
Linking Words
, encouraging public
transports
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 play a crucial role in decreasing private
vehicles
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.

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Task Achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines the structure of your essay and the points you will discuss. This will help guide the reader through your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure to clearly link your ideas logically so that each paragraph flows smoothly to the next. Using cohesive devices can enhance readability.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your claims about the impacts of petrol price increases and the benefits of electric vehicles, as this will strengthen your arguments.
Task Achievement
The essay presents a clear viewpoint on the topic, showing a strong agreement with the proposed solution.
Coherence and Cohesion
The structure includes an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is essential for coherence.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Discourage
  • Incentivize
  • Alternative energy
  • Public transportation
  • Lower-income
  • Carpool
  • Ride-sharing
  • Congestion
  • Urban planning
  • Pedestrian-friendly
  • Tax incentives
  • Electric and hybrid vehicles
  • Emissions standards
  • Cleaner vehicles
  • Congestion charges
  • Bicycle lanes
  • Sustainable
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