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Writing Samples
Band 5

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?

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It is widely believed that teaching children the distinction between right and wrong at an early age is vital, with some arguing that punishment is a necessary tool in
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 process.I completely agree that teaching teenagers moral values early is crucial, and I believe that non-violent forms of punishment,
such
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 as withholding privileges, are the best way to correct inappropriate behaviour.That approach not only helps juveniles understand the consequences of their actions but
also
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 ensures their emotional and psychological well-being. On the one hand,
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children

It seems that child may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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 should learn the difference between acceptable and unacceptable
treat
Replace the word
treatment

The word treat doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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 from a young age, as it lays the foundation for their development into responsible and ethical adults.
For example
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,
teen
Fix the agreement mistake
teens

It seems that teen may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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 who are taught to respect others, share, and follow rules are more likely to grow into well-mannered individuals who contribute positively to society.
Moreover
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, understanding moral values early helps them make better decisions in the future, which can lead to a more fulfilling and successful life.
On the other hand
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,the punitive punishments that are utilized by parents to figure out the adolescents' misbehaviours should not be accepted as
it
Correct pronoun usage
they

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leads
Correct subject-verb agreement
lead

It seems that the verb leads does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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 to
youngs
Correct your spelling
young

The word youngs doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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' mental issues,
while
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 non-violent punishments, especially taking away privileges or imposing time-outs,can be
a
Correct article usage
apply

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constructive
lesson
Fix the agreement mistake
lessons

It seems that lesson may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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 for forming their behaviours.
For instance
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, if a child misbehaves, parents can temporarily restrict access to their favourite toys or activities, specifically playing with friends. The method encourages kids to reflect on their actions and understand the consequences without causing them emotional or physical harm.
Otherwise
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, violent punishments can lead to fear, resentment, and long-term psychological harm.
To conclude
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, teaching
offsprings
Fix the agreement mistake
offspring

It seems that offsprings may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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 the difference between right and wrong from an early age is vital for their development into responsible adults. Equivalently important is the use of non-violent disciplinary measures, like withholding privileges, to correct inappropriate treats

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly present your thesis statement in the introduction. This helps guide the reader through your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Break paragraphs more clearly, especially when transitioning between ideas. This will enhance the logical flow of your argument.
task achievement
Provide more detailed examples or explanations for your points. This will help enhance clarity and comprehensiveness in your argument.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear stance on the issue, supporting the argument for non-violent forms of punishment effectively.
task achievement
The concept of withholding privileges as a form of punishment is well-articulated and provides relevant context to the argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • punishment
  • positive reinforcement
  • consequences
  • time-outs
  • removal of privileges
  • open communication
  • clear expectations
  • consistency
  • fairness
  • disciplinary action
  • proportionate
  • moral values
  • internalization
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