In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on counstructing new railway lines for every fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

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The
transportation
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system has been advancing extensively in many states.
However
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, a positive change
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
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field
definitely
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is definitely
show examples
needed by constructing
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
railway
for
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to
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make a shorter trip or focusing on
existing
Correct article usage
the existing
show examples
one.
This
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essay will elaborate
both
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on both
show examples
statement
Change to a plural noun
statements
show examples
. A myriad of populations think constructing
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
railway for very fast trains between cities is important. It is probably because they think it can make a shorter trip if they want to go
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
somewhere.
Although
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in
indonesia
Change the capitalization
Indonesia
show examples
rapid
Use synonyms
train
Fix the agreement mistake
trains
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was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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available,
but
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apply
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only for
connect
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connecting
show examples
two cities in
indonesia
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Indonesia
show examples
,
that is
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from
jakarta
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Jakarta
show examples
to Bandung and vice versa.
This
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train
Use synonyms
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
succesfully
Correct your spelling
successfully
made a brief trip.
Previosly
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Previously
, it took around 4 hours by
reguler
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regular
train
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, but now it only takes roughly 45 minutes by
hight-speed
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high-speed
show examples
train
Use synonyms
.
However
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,
this
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transportation
Use synonyms
has limited departure, so
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
an increase in
this
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type of
transportation
Use synonyms
is needed. Meanwhile, to do
this
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, a significant amount of funds needs to be allocated.
On the other hand
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, local
transportation
Use synonyms
also
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needs attention. Some
of
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apply
show examples
people believe if government should be
improveing
Correct your spelling
improving
it.
Furthermore
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, local
transportation
Use synonyms
used
Add a missing verb
is used
show examples
more extensively, so that, enhance the passenger’s pleasure by making it more comfortable is needed.
For example
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, the development of bus
station
Fix the agreement mistake
stations
show examples
, in
term
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terms
show examples
of amenities and
hight
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high
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quality services in
indonesia
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Indonesia
show examples
, has driven people to use buses as their regular transit.
This
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is proven
bye
Correct your spelling
by
show examples
the
growh
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growth
in the number of people
communiting
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communicating
commuting
by bus
nowdays
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
. In conclusion, implementing new railway lines for connecting between cities
maybe
Correct your spelling
may
show examples
brings
Wrong verb form
bring
show examples
impact for some
individual
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individuals
show examples
.
Otherwise
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, improving public
transportation
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would widely impact
society
Change noun form
society's
show examples
Correct your spelling
satisfaction
satisfication
Correct your spelling
satisfaction
.

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task achievement
Revise the introduction to clarify your stance more clearly and ensure it reflects the essay's content.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that paragraphs are distinct and follow a logical progression of ideas. Each point should clearly link to the next.
task achievement
Focus on refining your examples to provide clearer context and increase their relevance to the main argument.
coherence and cohesion
Edit for grammatical errors, such as verb tense consistency and word choice, to enhance clarity and professionalism.
task achievement
The essay addresses both views regarding the construction of new railways and improvement of public transport, which shows a clear understanding of the task.
task achievement
The use of examples, such as the Indonesian rapid train and improvements in local transport, helps to illustrate your points effectively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • infrastructure
  • efficient
  • congestion
  • sustainable
  • environmentally friendly
  • connectivity
  • economic growth
  • public transportation
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