IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Percentage of daily intake of soduim, saturated fat and added sugar consumed in meals and snack (average person USA)

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The provided pie graph presents information about the proportion of daily nutrient intake consumed by an average person in the USA through different meals and appetizers. Generally speaking, the everyday consumption of sodium and saturated fats had the highest percentage at dinner, 43% and 37% respectively. Meanwhile, the ingestion of added sugar reached its peak in snacks. As shown in the pie charts, the daily intake of sodium by a person in the United States was higher at dinner, just like in the case of saturated fats. In stark contrast, the daily consumption of added sugar was made with the snacks.
However
Linking Words
, daily sodium ingestion had its lowest rate in the morning and during appetizers (both of them 14%),
while
Linking Words
 the uptake of added sugar hit its lowest at breakfast and lunch, 16% and 19% sequentially.
Although
Linking Words
, saturated fats were less consumed at breakfast and during snacks, 16% and 21 %, respectively.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, the meal of the day in which the least unhealthy nutrients were consumed was during
first
Add an article
the first
show examples
 meal of the day.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Try to clearly state the main trends or comparisons in your introduction to guide the reader. This helps in making the essay easier to follow.
task achievement
Ensure that your points are supported by data from the pie chart; avoid vague references. Phrases like 'the everyday consumption' could be more precisely stated as 'the majority of sodium and saturated fat intake occurred during dinner.'
task achievement
You have included relevant data from the pie chart, which supports your main points effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Your use of comparison between meal times for different nutrients is a strong point that demonstrates understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: