IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some deem that job pleasure is more important than job society. In contrast ,others think thay having a stable job is better than enjoying the job. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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A certain group of professionals believe that a
job
Use synonyms
 should be interesting to do,
while
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 others prioritise the stability of the
job
Use synonyms
 over its comfort. Both the given views are correct in their own way, so these following paragraphs will provide some insights and I would like
to conclude
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 my opinion in the end. To support the first view, It can be said that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
entertaining work can bring better outcomes for the worker
as well as
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 the workplace.
For instance
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, I have the best colleagues and they are always fun to be around. I highly feel motivated to go to the workplace and
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
perform my duties.
Moreover
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, we play games and help each other to complete tasks. We not only set desirable goals but
also
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 always thrive meet them. I have learned many skills and brought more sales
for
Change preposition
to
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 my company.
Due to
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 my extraordinary work, I have achieved three days of paid holiday. I feel overjoyed
,
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apply
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 and boosted to do something better for my company all the
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
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. On the other side, my friend is working full-time with a multinational firm. He has a significant
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
salary and
a
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apply
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long-term contracts, too.
However
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, he needs to work early morning to late evening, and the workplace is far too. He easily got tired working there, and he has not done something noteworthy with his professional career. In
this
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 era of high employment,
job
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 security is definitely a crucial thing, as an individual does not need to worry about unemployment sooner or later.
To conclude
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, It can be stated that
job
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 comfort and
job
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-for-life have their own benefits.
However
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, I fully support the first viewpoint,
due to
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 its possibility to grow in my professional life.

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task achievement
Consider providing more balanced arguments for both sides by including additional points or counterarguments.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between ideas and paragraphs to enhance the flow of the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Use a wider range of vocabulary and varied sentence structures to make your writing more engaging.
task achievement
You present a clear opinion, which is essential for task achievement.
task achievement
Your personal example of enjoying work adds authenticity to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • job satisfaction
  • financial stability
  • mental well-being
  • job security
  • career fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • motivation
  • productivity
  • personal achievements
  • stress reduction
  • employment uncertainty
  • professional growth
  • positive feedback loop
  • engagement
  • fulfillment
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