IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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In the past, most
people
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 lived in the countryside.
However
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, with the rapid urbanization development in many countries, rural populations have declined
while
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 urban citizens have increased.
While
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 some
people
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 might argue that city migration has positive impacts like better
job
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 opportunities and facilities, in
this
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 essay I will argue why
this
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 is a negative development as it leads to significant challenges like economic and social difficulties. To start with,
job
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 opportunities might be one of the reasons
people
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 migrate to the
cities
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,
however
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, in reality, there is a mismatch between
job
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 demand and skill availability.
As a result
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, many
people
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 struggle to find jobs and cannot afford the higher cost of living in the
cities
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.
Coupled with
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 the stressful city life, unemployment can negatively affect mental health and might increase the crime rate in the
cities
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.
Moreover
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, compared to village dwellers, city dwellers are more likely to be individualistic and often lack a sense of community as they are already preoccupied with their own lives.
For instance
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, many urban citizens do not know their neighbours as they rarely interact with their neighbours.
In contrast
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,
people
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 in rural areas typically enjoy gathering in front of their homes or in their communal areas, fostering stronger social bonds and a more supportive environment. In conclusion,
although
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 urbanization may offer certain benefits, I believe its negative impacts are more significant. The mismatch between
job
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 demand and skills, combined with an individualistic environment, can lead to economic challenges and weaken social cohesion in
cities
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.

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task achievement
Consider providing more examples or evidence to support your claims, particularly regarding the points on unemployment and social interactions.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs and ideas to enhance the overall flow and coherence of the essay.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction clearly presents the topic and outlines the writer's stance, which sets a good foundation for the essay.
task achievement
The arguments are logically structured and address important aspects of the issue, showcasing a good understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
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