IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Reward plays a vital role as a motivation to encourage students to try hard and do their best. While many people contemplate that those having the highest academic scores should be rewarded, I believe that students who improve the most should receive the gifts to inspire them to put more efforts in the future.

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Reward plays a vital role as a motivation to encourage
students
Use synonyms
 to try hard and do their best.
While
Linking Words
 many people contemplate that those having the highest academic scores should be rewarded, I believe that
students
Use synonyms
 who improve the most should receive the gifts to inspire them to put more
efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
show examples
in
Change preposition
into
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 the future. On the one hand, giving awards to the top
students
Use synonyms
 is beneficial in some ways.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it makes people try harder to perform
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 best. Excellent
students
Use synonyms
 will put more
efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
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to keep
Change preposition
into keeping
show examples
 their high positions and other ones will learn harder to get closer to the top. It creates
competitive
Add an article
a competitive
show examples
 environment in the whole school because everyone desires prizes.
Moreover
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,
this
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 approach helps schools find
out
Change preposition
apply
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outstanding pupils in order to nurture their academic abilities more. They can be trained at the extra classes to represent schools joining national and international competitions.
On the other hand
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, I agree with those who argue that complimenting pupils
making
Change preposition
in making
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 improvements in their studies is a more optimal choice.
Firstly
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, being the top student is not easy because not all of them have the talent
of learning
Change preposition
to learn
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 well.
Therefore
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,
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 efforts
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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to become better than the version of themselves yesterday are worth the recognition. It gives them the motivation to keep moving forward and not give up.
Moreover
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,
this
Linking Words
 approach
promote
Change the verb form
promotes
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 the idea that the highest purpose of studying is to gain knowledge not to compete with each other and to achieve high scores. Grades cannot make your life
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
better in the future but knowledge
an
Correct your spelling
and
show examples
 experience can. In conclusion, though rewarding
students
Use synonyms
 with the best academic performance is a good option to some extent, it seems to me that giving prizes to improving ones can help
gaining
Wrong verb form
gain
show examples
 a better result.

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Task Achievement
Consider improving the introduction by clearly stating your main argument upfront and expanding the concluding remarks to summarize your key points more effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on linking sentences and ideas more fluidly to enhance coherence. For example, use transition words to connect your thoughts better between paragraphs.
Task Achievement
You have a clear opinion presented in the introduction, and your main ideas are relevant and well-developed.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay displays a good structure with distinct paragraphs for different ideas, making it easy to follow your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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