IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Nowadays in many countries, people are following the latest fashion, hairstyles and so on. Is it a positive or a negative development?

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In
the
Correct article usage
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Modern times , the masses have started the frantic following of the newest fashion , cosmetics and make-up
trend
Fix the agreement mistake
trends
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. Though to some extent it is understandable, there is no doubt it has its own downfalls like everything in excess does.
To begin
Linking Words
 with I will talk about the Positives of
this
Linking Words
 growing mass following and it is the feeling of similarities and closeness people feel when discussing the same interests with another person , it gives a sense of security that there are
other;s
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other's
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 who are equally if not more in-tune with items like you.
Furthermore
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,
there
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Nowadays there are social gatherings specifically dedicated to
such
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 hobbies.
Such
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 as make-up workshops , fabric stitching classes ,
so
Correct word choice
and so
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 on and so forth.
However
Linking Words
 just like everything has its pros it
also
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 has its cons and
some
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one
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 of the major downsides of following every new trend is that societies forget about their own roots and cultures and start following other countries' features. Which slowly overtimes kills their own uniqueness.

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coherence and cohesion
Try to enhance logical flow by clearly linking your ideas and paragraphs.
task achievement
Include a clear conclusion that summarizes your points more effectively.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments, as they strengthen your points.
task achievement
You clearly identified both positives and negatives of following fashion trends.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction outlines the topic well, making it easy for the reader to understand your focus.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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