Many people believe that watching a live performance is more enjoyable than watching the same event on television. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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These days, many

Change preposition

apply

show examples

live

performances

Use synonyms

have

implemented

Add a missing verb

been implemented

show examples

around the

word

Correct your spelling

world

show examples

While

Linking Words

numerous individuals

hold

Verb problem

apply

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believe that attendance to these

performances

Use synonyms

have

Verb problem

gives

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the

Correct article usage

show examples

sense of

enjoy

Replace the word

enjoyment

show examples

, others find it will be more enjoyable to watch at

home

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. In my opinion, watching different types of

Use synonyms

performance

Fix the agreement mistake

performances

show examples

is more enjoyable to watch at

home

Use synonyms

rather than to attend to them.

To begin

Linking Words

with, some

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apply

show examples

live

performances

Use synonyms

are expensive and require to travel for long hours to attend, which as is not align with all

Use synonyms

people

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people's

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abilities.

Therefore

Linking Words

, some

people

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prefer spending their

many

Correct your spelling

money

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

something more

valued

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valuable

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such

Linking Words

as travelling with family

Remove the comma

apply

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or having

Correct article usage

a launch

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launch

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lunch

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with loved ones.

Moreover

Linking Words

crowded

Add a missing verb

being crowded

show examples

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show examples

these types of

event

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events

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may change

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Use synonyms

people

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people's

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view of attendance

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apply

show examples

them

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

, as it can make them feel anxious or nervous.

For example

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Oxford

Correct article usage

an Oxford

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University study in 2024, revealed that

people

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with anxiety and other psychological issues would not be able to attend

Fix the infinitive

apply

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live

performances

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, as it can negatively impact

the

Correct article usage

apply

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mental health

due to

Linking Words

the crowds in these events. Another point to consider, many

people

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enjoy watching various

performances

Use synonyms

at their

home

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, as they can save money and spend quilty time with their friends and family.

This

Linking Words

can develop a strong relationship among relatives and friends, positively influencing their mental well-being.

Additionally

Linking Words

, they can avoid

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

the noise

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during

show examples

Use synonyms

performance

Fix the agreement mistake

performances

show examples

, so they will be more

relax

Wrong verb form

relaxed

show examples

and enjoy the

performance

Use synonyms

more effectively, and will not consume time on the road to attend these

performances

Use synonyms

For instance

Linking Words

, individuals in Saudi Arabia spend approximately 2 hours to arrive

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

show examples

musical concert. In conclusion, physically

attendance to

Wrong verb form

attending

show examples

live

Use synonyms

performance

Fix the agreement mistake

performances

show examples

are

Change the verb form

show examples

less enjoyable than watching

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

home

Use synonyms

, as it

sometimes

Add a missing verb

is sometimes

show examples

costly, and crowded,

whereas

Linking Words

enjoy

Wrong verb form

enjoying

show examples

it at

home

Use synonyms

might make the relationship more solid and enhance the mental well-being of

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

alaaalasirySat Feb 22 2025

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Task Achievement

Consider refining your thesis statement to clearly outline your main argument. Make it specific about why watching at home is more enjoyable.

Coherence and Cohesion

Check for grammatical accuracy and clarity in your sentences. Some sentences are a bit unclear or have grammatical errors that may confuse the reader.

Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure that each point is well-developed with clearer links to your main opinion. For example, expand on how being at home more effectively enhances relationships.

Task Achievement

You demonstrated a clear opinion on the topic, which is essential for task achievement.

Coherence and Cohesion

The structure of your essay includes an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, showing awareness of essay format.

Task Achievement

You provided relevant examples and reasons supporting your points, which is important for building a strong argument.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
39
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

302 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

live performance
unique and energetic
sense of community
screen
editing
post-production
authentic experience
convenience
visibility
real-time commentary
expert analysis
understanding and appreciation
prohibitive
accessible option
wider audiences

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Many people believe that watching a live performance is more enjoyable than watching the same event on television. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Should hunting be considered a sport? Do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, more and more adults continue to live with their parents even after they have completed education and found jobs. Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages?

In some societies the number of crimes committed by teenagers is growing. What are the reasons for this trend? And what possible solutions could reduce this issue?

In many countries government are investing in new technology to deal with the public. Why is this happening? Do you think this is an appropriate use of government money.

Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example from your own knowledge or experience.