IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Learning English at school is often seen as more important than learning local languages. If these are not taught, many are at risk of dying out. In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensure the survival of local languages and, if so, how?

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English
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 is
a
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an
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 international language
that is
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 widely used in the world. It helps communicate with people from different countries.
For example
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, when I travel to Japan, I can order food or ask for navigation
with
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in
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English
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 easily, even though I do not know Japanese. Learning
English
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also
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 helps our study and work. Many textbooks or study resources are written in
English
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. Students can learn more effectively if they know
English
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.
On the other hand
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, local
languages
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 are important too. Local
languages
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 represent culture and identity. Many local
languages
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 have their own stories and history
that
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 worth
to keep
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keeping
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. If we do not teach them or use them, they will disappear. To ensure the survival of local
languages
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, schools should teach both
English
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 and local
languages
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 or hold some activities about local
languages
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 regularly,
such
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 as
festival
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festivals
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 and drama. Schools can
also
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 make a board in public
area
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areas
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 to promote local
languages
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. Learning
English
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 is important, but we should not forget about local
languages
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. Local
languages
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 have their own values. It is necessary to find a balance between the two.
Therefore
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, students have
ability
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the ability
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 to communicate with people in different countries
while
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 they have
cognition
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the cognition
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to
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of
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 their own culture.

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task achievement
Expand on examples and clarify your views with more specific details or personal experiences to enhance your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting sentences that directly relate to the topic discussed. Consider adding connecting phrases for smoother transitions.
coherence and cohesion
Incorporate a broader variety of vocabulary and sentence structures for a more engaging writing style.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion.
task achievement
You successfully highlighted the importance of both learning English and preserving local languages.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • global communication
  • economic opportunities
  • cultural diversity
  • endangered
  • linguistic heritage
  • inclusive
  • multilingualism
  • language revitalization
  • language policy
  • language preservation
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