IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Learning English at school is often seen as more important than learning local languages. If these are not taught, many are at risk of dying out. In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensure the survival of local languages and, if so, how?

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In today’s world, many people think learning
English
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 is important and
this
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starts
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starts to
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 overshadow the need
of
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for
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 local
languages
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. In
this
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 essay, I will explore the reasons why
English
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 is an important global
language
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, and provide suggestions on how local
languages
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 can be preserved.
Firstly
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,
English
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 is known as an international
language
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. It is widely used in different countries and situations,
such
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 as travel to foreign environments.
For example
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, in the stations of the Japan Railway system, most of the information or
instruction
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instructions
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 are shown in Japanese and
English
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 for tourists to read.
Secondly
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,
English
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 can
also
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 enhance job opportunities. Many companies require employees to be fluent in
English
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.
For instance
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, working in a multinational corporation may need to communicate with colleagues and clients from different countries which
need
Verb problem
requires
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 high proficiency in
English
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.
On the other hand
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, local
languages
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 should be preserved as it is important for the young generation and their identity.
Firstly
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, teaching the local
language
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 is important for the young generation. They still live in their own country where they have to use their native
language
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.
For example
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,
although
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 students in Hong Kong have to learn
English
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 in school, Cantonese is still the primary
language
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.
Secondly
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,
Correct article usage
the
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local
language
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 plays a crucial role in the history and culture of that place. When a
language
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 dies, an entire culture may be lost.
For example
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, some local
languages
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 are endangered, their extinction would mean the words that used to state the history and culture of that place
are
Verb problem
have
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 disappeared.
To conclude
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,
English
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 is an international
language
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 which can enhance career prospects.
However
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, the local
language
Use synonyms
 plays an important role in daily life and people's identity.

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Task Achievement
Try to elaborate a bit more on your ideas. Each paragraph could benefit from additional sentences to fully explain the points being made.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use more linking words to connect your ideas smoothly and improve the flow of your essay.
Task Achievement
Consider providing more concrete examples of endangered local languages and what can be done to preserve them.
Task Achievement
You presented a clear argument regarding the importance of English and local languages.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay is organized with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps guide the reader.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • global communication
  • economic opportunities
  • cultural diversity
  • endangered
  • linguistic heritage
  • inclusive
  • multilingualism
  • language revitalization
  • language policy
  • language preservation
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