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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Cooking food is a waste of time in today’s hectic life. Fast food restaurant are helpful in modern living and it is less stressful. Do you agree or disagree?

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In
modern day
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modern-day
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 society many
people
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 feel that homemade dinners are
time consuming
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time-consuming
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 and ordering out is easier and more convenient. In my
opinion
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opinion,
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 takeaways can be
eXpensive
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expensive
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 and unhealthy and would suggest
people
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 stay to conventional methods of cooking. Fast
food
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 is one of the number one contributors to health problems in
modern day
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modern-day
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 society.The majority of ingredients used in the production of these foods are unhealthy and
people
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 who consume these meals on a daily basis generally suffer the consequences.Studies have shown that over
70percent
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70 per cent
 of Americans are obese
due to
Linking Words
 the high amount of
msg
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MSG
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 consumed with their fast
food
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 diets which is the main contributor to the rising number of
people
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 struggling with diabetes. Another factor contributing to the unhealthiness of
take aways
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takeaways
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 is the excessive amounts of oil used to cook these meals which has an
unequavitable
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inequitable
unequitable
 contribution to heart diseases in general. Taking into consideration the fact that
food
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 plays a detrimental part in human health,
it is clear that
Linking Words
people
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needs
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need
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 to eat
healthy
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healthily
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.Home cooking is much healthier for several reasons.
Firstly
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,most traditional
home cooked
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home-cooked
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recipies
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recipes
 contain a variety of healthy vegetables which contain vital vitamins and minerals for the human body.
Secondly
Linking Words
,by using alternative methods to cook
such
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 as
the an
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the
an
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 air fryer one can avoid the use of oil. In conclusion,it is safe to say that home cooking is very important for human health and that
people
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 should think twice before opting for fast
food
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 as a
food
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 choice.

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task achievement
Try to provide a clearer position in your introduction. A more balanced argument mentioning the pros and cons of fast food could strengthen your position.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the transitions between paragraphs to enhance the flow of ideas. Phrases like 'On the other hand' could help in contrasting points more effectively.
task achievement
More specific examples or statistics could make your argument stronger, especially when discussing health implications, to better illustrate your points.
content
Your discussion on the health effects of fast food is well-informed, showing a good understanding of the topic.
structure
The essay has a clear conclusion that summarizes your views effectively, reinforcing your main argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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