IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people enjoy change and look forward to new experiences. Others like their lives to remain the same and do not like any changes. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Certain individuals
enbrace
Correct your spelling
embrace
 life and its
obsiticles
Correct your spelling
obstacles
 and have a positive outlook on any potential situation that might
occure
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occur
. Other
people
Use synonyms
 do not enjoy the unknown and try and keep their
lives
Use synonyms
 in routine to prevent any unseen changes that may
accure
Correct your spelling
occur
. In my opinion,
change
Use synonyms
 is
inevidible
Correct your spelling
inevitable
 and
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
embracing it will make life easier. On the
on
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one
show examples
 hand, some
people
Use synonyms
 need order and routine in their life to feel safe.
Change
Use synonyms
 can be
overrwhelming
Correct your spelling
overwhelming
 to some and they do not feel as if they are in control. These adults are truly ridged in their ways and try and
prefent
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prevent
 any
change
Use synonyms
 in their
lives
Use synonyms
. They are responsible
people
Use synonyms
 who buy houses
instead
Linking Words
 of renting and
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
 at one job their whole
lives
Use synonyms
 in order to prevent any
unforseen cercumstances
Correct your spelling
unforeseen circumstances
 that may
occure
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occur
. The problem is when
change
Use synonyms
 happens they do not
now
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know
show examples
 how to handle it and may become depressed and
uncumfortable
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uncomfortable
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are individuals
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 embrace new
adventure
Fix the agreement mistake
adventures
show examples
 with a positive outlook. They see
uppertunity
Correct your spelling
opportunity
 as
positivities
Replace the word
positive
show examples
. These
people
Use synonyms
 take risks in their personal
lives
Use synonyms
 and careers, if they are not happy working for someone they apply for a new position.
Therefore
Linking Words
, these individuals are
go getters
Add a hyphen
go-getters
show examples
 and fight for what they want in
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
 rather than just settling for less. In conclusion, The truth is
change
Use synonyms
 needs to happen in order to grow and move forward. The sooner
people
Use synonyms
 see a new situation as an opportunity rather than a problem it will become less scary and positive things will happen in
your
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
live
Replace the word
lives
show examples
.

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task achievement
Consider expanding your ideas in each paragraph to provide clearer, more comprehensive arguments. For example, further elaborating on how change can be beneficial might strengthen your case.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to proofread for spelling and grammatical errors, as these can distract from your message. For instance, 'observations' should be 'obstacles', and 'inevitable' is misspelled as 'inevidible'.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph contains a clear topic sentence that relates back to the main thesis. This will help strengthen the logical flow of your essay.
task achievement
Your essay presents a balanced view by discussing both perspectives clearly, which is a strong point.
task achievement
You provide a personal opinion, adding a personal touch to your writing that engages the reader.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • adaptability
  • personal growth
  • resilience
  • perspective
  • competitive advantage
  • predictable patterns
  • mental well-being
  • stress and anxiety
  • comfort zone
  • hybrid approach
  • embracing change
  • nurturing stability
  • personal fulfillment
  • life balance
  • new experiences
What to do next:
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