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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below gives information of the numbers of participants for different activitirs at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below gives information of the numbers of participants for different activitirs at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The line graph illustrates the
number
Use synonyms
 of
participants
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 at one social
center
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centre
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 for different activities in Melbourne, Australia between the
period
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 of 2000 and 2020.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is apparent that table tennis had the biggest rise in
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number
Change the article
a number
the number
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 of
participants
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while
Linking Words
amateur
Correct article usage
the amateur
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 dramatics line had a steady fall. Both film club and martial arts lines were consistent during the
period
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 given, with the film club
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
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with the highest
number
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 of
people
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 attending. Regarding
people
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 attending table tennis activities, they began the
period
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 with around 18
participants
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 and in 2010 they skyrocketed ending the
period
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 in 2020 with slightly over 50
participants
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.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the amateur dramatics activity had around 28
people
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 in 2000
however
Linking Words
 the
numer
Correct your spelling
number
 kept declining since 2005 till they ended with the lowest
number
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 of
participants
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 with approximately just 8
people
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 only in 2020. Turning to the other activities,
people
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 attending musical performances kept increasing the entire
period
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 ending with 19 in 2020.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
number
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 of
participants
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of
Change preposition
in
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 both film club and martial arts
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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 relatively steady, around 60 to 76 and 31 to 39 respectively.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, participants, period, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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