IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

University students should pay in full for their own education instead of the society funding their studies. The reason is that individuals tend to benefit after graduation more than society. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give your own opinion.

While
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Use synonyms
 should fund
students
Use synonyms
'
education
Use synonyms
 in college,
students
Use synonyms
 ought to pay
Use synonyms
education
Change preposition
for education
show examples
 by themselves. The reason is that the folk don't get the benefit larger than the individuals who have graduated. I completely disagree
about
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
Linking Words
 notion as not all
students
Use synonyms
 have similar wealth to fund their school.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the regulation of
Use synonyms
education's
Change noun form
education
show examples
 funding should be fair and
transparant
Correct your spelling
transparent
 which
society
Use synonyms
 could
also
Linking Words
 monitor it.
Firstly
Linking Words
, everyone in
this
Linking Words
 world
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 eligible to accept
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
education
Use synonyms
. Meanwhile, not everyone has
previllage
Correct your spelling
privilege
 to experience university. One of the
problem
Change to a plural noun
problems
show examples
 is they don't have enough money to fulfill their dreams
learning
Change preposition
of learning
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
college. With the inflation and globalization that happened in
this
Linking Words
 world,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
money become more important than before, especially for the budget that
needed
Add a missing verb
is needed
show examples
 to get involved in the university.
Scholarship
Fix the agreement mistake
Scholarships
show examples
 that come from
society
Use synonyms
 could help them to reach their future destination. Awardees who get the funding would
gratitude
Replace the word
be grateful
show examples
 to the facilities that they earned.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 must
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
regulate the scholarship fairly and obviously. They should select candidates with rigid
requirement
Fix the agreement mistake
requirements
show examples
 related to
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 background
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, the agreement to awardees should be engaged with mutual advantages. For
instances
Fix the agreement mistake
instance
show examples
, awardees who have graduated and got a job should
funding
Wrong verb form
fund
show examples
 their junior
instead
Linking Words
 with robust regulations.
Consequently
Linking Words
, the funding from
society
Use synonyms
 would
have
Verb problem
create
show examples
cycling
Correct article usage
a cycling
show examples
 ecosystem about
education
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 the reason about the common people
don't
Change the verb form
doesn't
show examples
 get more advantages compared to the
students
Use synonyms
 who have graduated
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the folk's budget, I greatly disagree about
this
Linking Words
 idea as not all
students
Use synonyms
 have money to
enroll
Change the spelling
enrol
show examples
 the college.
Considerly
Correct your spelling
Considerably
, the regulation of
Use synonyms
education's
Change noun form
education
show examples
 funding must be fair and
transparant
Correct your spelling
transparent
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Ensure your introduction clearly outlines your position on the topic and summarizes the main points you will discuss. This helps set the stage for your argument.
Task Achievement
Expand on your points with more detailed examples or explanations to strengthen your argument and enhance clarity.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve the flow of your essay by using more linking words and phrases to connect ideas more smoothly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Proofread your essay to correct grammar and spelling errors. Pay attention to verb tenses and singular/plural forms.
Task Achievement
You present a clear opinion throughout the essay, which is essential for task achievement.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay addresses the topic directly and maintains relevance throughout.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: