IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevent.

The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevent.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
This
Linking Words
liner
Replace the word
line
show examples
 graph
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
show examples
 the percentage of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people who are aged 65 and over during a century (1940 to 2040) in three different countries including
Use synonyms
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
, Sweden and Japan.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 of elders
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased throughout the period
while
Linking Words
 Sweden and the
USA
Use synonyms
demostrated
Correct your spelling
demonstrated
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
similar behaviour in constant
growth
Use synonyms
, Japan depicted
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rapid
growth
Use synonyms
 in around 2030.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of older people were from the
USA
Use synonyms
 and
Sweeden
Correct your spelling
Sweden
show examples
 and they were 10% and 5% respectively. The
growth
Use synonyms
 of both countries
demostrated
Correct your spelling
demonstrated
 a
simillar
Correct your spelling
similar
 pattern and it peaked
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 1980 and followed a slight
declined
Replace the word
decline
show examples
 until 1990.
Then
Linking Words
 the
USA
Use synonyms
populatiry
Correct your spelling
popularity
population
 showed a steady
growth
Use synonyms
 until 2020 and followed a significant uptrend until 2040 surpassing 24% margin.
In contrast
Linking Words
, Sweden experienced a
drastical
Correct your spelling
drastic
drastically
inclinde
Correct your spelling
incline
inclined
include
 until 2010 by 2.5%
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and continued the trend followed by a marginal collapse.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Japan
demostrated
Correct your spelling
demonstrated
 a
consistant
Correct your spelling
consistent
down trend
Correct your spelling
downtrend
show examples
 until 1960 and
barley
Correct your spelling
barely
show examples
 illustrated a change in
pecentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
then
Linking Words
 it started to incline gradually to the level of 10%
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2030 followed by a dramatic surge to 28%
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2040.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words usa, growth with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "illustrate" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 4 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • demographics
  • population aged 65 and over
  • time span
  • initial data points
  • proportions
  • steady increase
  • stagnation
  • decline
  • sharp increase/decrease
  • trends over time
  • fastest growth
  • least change
  • projection
  • predicted proportions
  • societal impacts
  • aging population
What to do next:
Look at other essays: