IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Children
Use synonyms
 learn by example.
Hence
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, it is important for parents to act as a model for how they want their
children
Use synonyms
 to behave. Limits and regulations are necessary for
children
Use synonyms
. The most effective ways to punish
children
Use synonyms
 are using timeouts or taking away something,
such
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 as gadgets. Another approach to assist youngsters in understanding the difference between right and wrong is to take away their privileges or pocket money, encourage them to help with household chores, and
then
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 educate them on why they are being punished. These techniques are less likely to have an adverse effect on a child’s mental health.
To conclude
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,
while
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 punishment has its place in teaching
children
Use synonyms
 right from wrong, it must be fair and constructive. By adopting non-physical and reflective methods, parents and educators can foster moral understanding and encourage positive
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 without causing emotional harm.

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task achievement
Expand on your examples to provide more depth and analysis. For instance, when discussing the effectiveness of timeouts or losing privileges, you could include studies or statistics that support their use.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph clearly connects to the main topic and follows a logical sequence for better flow. Each point should build on the previous one to enhance coherence.
content
The essay presents a coherent argument that addresses the topic and shows a clear understanding of the importance of morals in child-rearing.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • punishment
  • positive reinforcement
  • consequences
  • time-outs
  • removal of privileges
  • open communication
  • clear expectations
  • consistency
  • fairness
  • disciplinary action
  • proportionate
  • moral values
  • internalization
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