IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

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These days
individuals
Use synonyms
 decide to be self-employed rather than working for a company or any organisation.
This
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 case might happen because of the challenges of working for others and the evolving mindset of people. I believe that
self-employment
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 offers several advantages
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while
Correct word choice
but
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 it
also
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 comes with significant drawbacks. Nowadays people tend to be more flexible and
self-employment
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 allows
individuals
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 to pursue their passions and achieve more autonomy.
Work
Wrong verb form
Working
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 for themselves makes people possible to make their own decisions
according to
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 their values, interests and needs.
For example
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, persons who start a food business,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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can turn their hobby whether cooking or eating into a career, which makes them not just simply like what they are doing but
also
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 encourages them to consistently expand their business.
Additionally
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,
self-employment
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 can lead them potentially to have a higher income, as
individuals
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 can set their own prices and determine their own
working-hours
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working hours
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according to
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 their specific target.
On the other hand
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, there are several drawbacks that can be experienced
due to
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 choosing
self-employment
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. Those who are self-employed must have the capability and responsibility to achieve their own target or even to increase it.
Furthermore
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, they have to find themselves juggling multiple roles at the same time.
For instance
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,
individuals
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 who run their own
business
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businesses
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 have to work as
the
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apply
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investor
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investors
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,
manager
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managers
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 of human resources, marketing
manager
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managers
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 and even
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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worker
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workers
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 at the same time, and I believe that it is not easy. In conclusion, being self-employed should be deliberated over depending on their personal goals and circumstances.
However
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, it costs a lot of
considerations
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consideration
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 and skills,
being
Correct word choice
and being
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 self-employed is still the best choice to be experienced and expand yourselves.

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task achievement
The essay presents a clear response to the prompt, but could benefit from more elaborate examples and deeper analysis of the ideas presented. Consider providing additional specific examples to better illustrate the points made and strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
The overall structure is logical but some ideas could flow a bit more smoothly. Use more linking words and phrases to improve the cohesion between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
In the conclusion, try to rephrase key points or summarize the main arguments you’ve discussed to give a stronger final impression. A clearer reflection on your main findings could enhance the impact of your conclusion.
task achievement
The essay successfully identifies both the advantages and disadvantages of self-employment, which demonstrates a balanced response to the question.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction clearly outlines the topic and presents the writer's perspective on self-employment, establishing a strong foundation for the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-employment
  • freelancing
  • entrepreneurship
  • autonomy
  • financial stability
  • work-life balance
  • financial insecurity
  • lack of support
  • resources
  • long working hours
  • uncertain income
  • job security
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