The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend and offer a solution.

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As we all know,the percentage of overweight children in

western

Capitalize word

Western

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society has increased in the

last

Linking Words

ten years. Why

this

Linking Words

seriously

Change the adverb

serious

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problem had appeared?Let me talk about it and express my opinion. On the one hand,nowadays

the

Correct article usage

apply

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technology

has

Verb problem

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more advanced

that

Correct word choice

than

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everyone owns mobile phones by

theirself.No

Correct your spelling

doubt,children

has

Change the verb form

have

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also

Linking Words

.Children

asllchkiedMon Feb 24 2025

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coherence and cohesion

Develop a clearer structure and ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. Make sure to include examples to support your points.

task achievement

Provide a more thorough examination of the causes and effects of childhood obesity, including statistics or studies if possible.

task achievement

Refine your introduction and conclusion to clearly outline your main points and summarize your arguments.

task achievement

You have identified an important issue, which shows awareness of current societal problems.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

2 paragraphs

52 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

1. Sedentary lifestyle
2. Screen time
3. Physical activity
4. Fast food consumption
5. Processed foods
6. Nutritional requirements
7. Self-esteem
8. Social isolation
9. Mental health issues
10. Hypertension
11. Respiratory issues
12. Community programs
13. Educational initiatives
14. Government policies
15. Advertisements targeting children
16. Healthy eating habits
17. Subsidies for healthy foods
18. Overweight prevalence
19. Convenience of processed foods
20. Long-term effects

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The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend and offer a solution.

Include an introduction and conclusion

These days many parents want their children to study a second language such as English. Do you think it is important for younger children to study a new language? Do you think schools should teach every student in primary school a second language?

Computers are often argued to be the most important invention of the last hundred years. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Today in many countries in order to find work people have to move away from their friends and family. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?