IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Aisu2

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Aisu2
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The given line graph illustrates how many
shops
Use synonyms
 were closed and opened in a country from 2011 to 2018. Generally speaking, the
number
Use synonyms
 of both closed and opened
shops
Use synonyms
 experienced a fall during the given time period. The
number
Use synonyms
 of shop closures started out at just below 6,500 stores in 2011 and experienced a slight decline to approximately 6000
shops
Use synonyms
 for the next
year
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, in the following
Use synonyms
year
Add a comma
year,
show examples
this
Linking Words
figure
Use synonyms
 rose moderately to reach a high
point
Use synonyms
 of just above 7,000 before experiencing a dip to hit a low
point
Use synonyms
 of around 500
shops
Use synonyms
 by 2015. From
this
Linking Words
point
Use synonyms
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of closed
shops
Use synonyms
 recovered to just above 5,000, and
this
Linking Words
number
Use synonyms
 remained almost stable until 2018, recording a total decline of nearly 2000 closed
shops
Use synonyms
 compared to the initial
figure
Use synonyms
 recorded in its first
year
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
 to closures, the
number
Use synonyms
 of new
shops
Use synonyms
 that were opened
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 started out at a peak of around 8,500
shops
Use synonyms
 in 2011, and
this
Linking Words
figure
Use synonyms
 plunged to roughly 4000
shops
Use synonyms
 in the subsequent
year
Use synonyms
. Following the initial decline, the
number
Use synonyms
 of new
shops
Use synonyms
 rose moderately to approximately 6,000
shops
Use synonyms
 by 2014 before experiencing a moderate fall to 4000
shops
Use synonyms
 again, which was the same level as three years ago.
This
Linking Words
figure
Use synonyms
 remained almost unchanged until 2017, and
then
Linking Words
 it dropped again to hit a low
point
Use synonyms
 of 3000
shops
Use synonyms
 by 2018.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words shops, number, year, figure, point with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "moderately" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: