IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be disadvantages of being self-employed?

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These days, more and more
people
Use synonyms
 tend to be self-employed rather than to work in a company or organisation. Generally, there will always be drawbacks in every choice that they make, it totally depends on individuals which path they want to take.
Although
Linking Words
 self-employment certainly has its disadvantages, there are still plenty of benefits resulting from it. There are many reasons why
people
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 prefer to be one’s own boss. It definitely has many things to offer, from allowing
people
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 to indulge their own passions and ideas
into
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in
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 business, giving them time flexibility, to creating
job
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 vacancies and benefitting even more
people
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. It grows
people
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’s creativity and challenges the catalysts to do something more impactful rather than just sitting in a nine-to-five
job
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 as a “corporate’s slave”.
However
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, establishing a business is never an easy task, it requires a lot of exertion,
one
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and one
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 must be ready to fail and thrive several times. A number of challenges must be faced,
for instance
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, the difficulty in finding reliable partners and clients, limited support and expertise,
as well as
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pressure
Add an article
the pressure
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 of managing all aspects
in
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of
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 the business.
In addition
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 to that, self-employed individuals mostly are vulnerable to instability
such
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 as
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of
job
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 security where there is no guarantee of continued work if clients decline or projects end.
Furthermore
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, they typically don’t receive paid leave or other benefits like health insurance and retirement plans. In conclusion, being self-employed has its own benefits and weaknesses, but I believe the advantages cause a greater impact not only
to
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on
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 the ones who do it but
also
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to
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on
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 the
people
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 around them. It can boost the nation’s economy by creating
job
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 vacancies
as well as
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 enhancing limitless ideas and creativities that support a country's development.

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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your points, particularly when discussing the benefits of self-employment. Detailed examples can enhance the clarity and depth of your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Consider improving the flow of your essay by using more connective phrases or transitions between ideas, particularly when you shift from discussing advantages to disadvantages.
coherence and cohesion
In your introduction, you could clearly outline both the advantages and disadvantages you will discuss to provide a clearer road map for the reader.
task achievement
You presented a balanced view, discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of self-employment, which demonstrates critical thinking.
coherence and cohesion
Your vocabulary is varied and generally well-used, which enhances the overall quality of the writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-employment
  • freelancing
  • entrepreneurship
  • autonomy
  • financial stability
  • work-life balance
  • financial insecurity
  • lack of support
  • resources
  • long working hours
  • uncertain income
  • job security
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