IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

You work for an international company, and would like to spend six months working in its head office in another country. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter: explain why you want to work in the company’s head office for six months say how your work could be done while you are away ask for his/her help in arranging it You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows: Dear ………………,

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Dear Sir or Madam, I trust you are doing well. The purpose of writing
this
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 letter is to request to work in the head office of our organization for six months in Canada. First and foremost, the main reason for working in the main office is to connect with higher authority employees of various departments.
Besides
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this
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, because of
this
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 opportunity, I can enhance my practical skills and gain more knowledge regarding the HR field.
Moreover
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, I will complete all my required assignments and goals on weekends
while
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 I am away.
Additionally
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, I will
also
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 catch up
other
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on other
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 work after my come back by overtime work. At the very least, it would be great if you could get
a
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apply
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permission from
CEO
Correct article usage
the CEO
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 of our company about my request.
As well as
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 I would appreciate
if
Correct pronoun usage
it if
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 you could inform an administrative assistant at head office to make arrangements for me after getting approval. I will wait for your prompt reply. Thank you for your time and consideration. Yours faithfully, Dhruvi Patel

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific details about your assignments and how you will manage them during your absence. This would strengthen your argument for your request.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use clearer transitions between ideas to improve the overall flow of your letter. For example, linking sentences within and between paragraphs can enhance coherence.
tone
You have maintained a professional tone throughout the letter, which is appropriate for a formal request.
clarity
Your introduction clearly states the purpose of your letter, making it easy for the reader to understand your intent immediately.

Structure your letter

A letter needs to be written using a proper format, including the following:

  • A greeting (Dear sir/madam, Dear John, Dear Mr. Smith)
  • The main body (consisting of paragraphs for each part of the letter)
  • A closing (Yours sincerely, Yours faithfully, Best wishes, Kind regards, Love)

When writing a letter as part of the IELTS General Training Writing Task 1, it is important to include the bullet points presented to you in the question.

All three bullet points need to be presented. And remember that some bullet points contain more than one element. So, make sure to watch for ‘and’ and plurals.

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